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Monday, February 08, 2010FINALLY FINAL![]() RESIDENT EVIL-AUSSIE-WRITER That year went quick, didn't it folks? This Friday sees one year since I stepped foot once again on Australian's golden soil (it's really more of a clay-ish red, but that doesn't quite work song wise...) and therefore, my visa runs out. Booo! However, our long awaited permanent visa application has been sent to immigration this week, so we're watching the inbox and post box closely for any news. We hope we'll be fine, as we have well over the number of statements, photos, etc that are required. Hell, if couples who hardly seem to stand each other can get partner visas, our application should go peachy. Still, a bit scary that from the 12th onwards, the only thing that stands between me an illegal immigrant status is a post office receipt (shudders). Special thanks to Rebecca, Suzanna, Michelle, Steve, Ammie and both sets of parents for your statements. It means a great deal to the family. WRITING NEWS The new novel, The Forgotten, is finally finished! Yes, I know there was some films of this title (as I've just been informed) but screw it, they don't sound very interesting so I aim to beat the piss out of them with this book (fat chance). This was the fastest novel I've written at around 10 months. It might not seem too fast to some, but with parental visits for a few weeks, hospital stays for weeks also and a new baby, I've never really had a good, clean run at it. The first draft comes in at around 97, 000 words, so will need a bit of a trim in the rewrite. At the moment, the manuscript has been put into its 6 week incubation while I finish up some short pieces and wrap up Necrotic Tissue business for the quarter (more on that in a tick). I'm actually raring to go on the edits...and I hate edits. And I know I said it before on Facebook, but Jeez, this is the goriest book I've written. Yes, even more gory than Samhane. At points, even I was thinking that this might be too much (for a split second). Perhaps I can get it out to some prelim readers after the rewrite and get some opinions. I wish I could tell you more, like perhaps, what the book is about? But until we're all done and official, I like to keep my cards close to my chest. My partner and editor (that's two people, not the same one. I bet R. Scott had a minor flinch then. Secret's safe!) seem to like it, but they haven't read the visceral 2nd half... And yes, something else that was finally finished this week. R. Scott McCoy, John P Wilson and myself finally got to another end of a Necrotic Tissue reading period. I think this time we got about 450 submissions over 31 days, so as always, it's a relief to know we have our editorial meeting next week.Each of our shortlists are done and we're currently reading each other's selected pieces. So if you still haven't heard from us, we're getting to the crunch. Sincerest good luck to all involved. Our magazine is going from strength to strength (did you get #9 there? Beautiful piece of work, if I do say so myself. Cover by the excellent Nick Rose). Check out Necrotic Tissue for reasonable single issues and subscription details. DAS INTERVIEWBefore I go, and for those who haven't got their complete Daniel I Russell fix this week (and who can blame them? The asylum only allows half an hour internet time per week...and it's bloody hard to type in a site address in those jackets), you can take a look at my interview with German website, Phantastik Journal here. Yes, it's in German, which is great if you speak it. If not, you can read the same interview in English right here. The interview mentions my FREE chapbook from the download section of danielirussell.com, and downloads have shot up this week. Thank you to those with the time to send me the positive feedback. It's greatly appreciated. And a big, big thank you to Torsten, who not only was the translator for my story to appear in the forthcoming Voodoo Press anthology, but is also translating Samhane, Come Into Darkness and another short for another anthology! He must be getting so sick of my work by now! Thank you, Torsten. Not much news this week, true, but I have a feeling there will be at least something on the horizon for next week. Thankfully it's not an iceberg, or a shark. Friday, January 29, 2010I FORGET TO PUT THE TITLE IN...WHAT A FOOL!![]() A WORD IN YOUR EAR...AND A TONGUE If you can ignore the imposing, and frankly quite unsettling, image of Skullvines Press honcho Jerrod Balzer trying to stick a tongue in his ear, one might ask, who is this confused looking man...and what is he holding? I'll tell you for who. That there is one and only bestselling horror author Brian Keene, the writer of The Rising, Castaways and the new release, Urban Gothic. And what is he holding? Why, it's only a brand new copy of hot-off-the-press book Tabloid Terrors 3! The Skullvines boys took a cart load of all three volumes to Visioncon this last weekend and they sold like Catcher in the Rye this week (but on a severely lesser scale). Bit weird having an established horror maestro holding a book you're in. Like I said on the Skullvines forum "Look! His little finger's nearly on my name!" Hehe. I hope Brian and all the other readers enjoy this warped little collection of National Enquirer meets crap scrawled on men's room walls kind of book. My copies are on the way, and I can't wait to read the other stories! Should you be interested, and who would be, then check out the store at www.skullvines.com. You may need latex gloves, or alternatively, wash your hands after each reading. ![]() THICK SKINNED LIKE A RHINO...YEAH, AN EDITING RHINO I don't tend to give writing tips out that often, as I feel that it's all been said before, but I'm going to change that for once this week. Yes, I may be repeating myself to things I've said to people before, and this is common knowledge, but here we go... Your friends and family will always love your writing. Yes, even if it sucks. They will say how great it is and crap like 'You wrote this? I thought it was Stephen King!" Join a forum. Submit your work. No one writes a great story every time and ultimately, YES! YOU WILL WRITE A CRAPPY STORY SOMETIMES! I'm man (hang on - yes, I am) to admit I don't sell everything. I get rejections, and at times, some are quite cutting. I've been in the game enough to take a rejection on the chin for the most part, and even when things are a bit nasty in said rejection, I have a moan to fellow writers via Skype, etc, but this is mostly done tongue in cheek. Like I touched on just above, I have my thick skin. I just wish some people had theirs. I would never, ever dream about replying to a rejection with abuse. It's like these people on American Idol that beg and then argue after they get the no. What are they going to say? Oh, you know, you're right after all! What the fuck was I thinking? By arguing, you completely changed my opinion of you. It's a YES YES YES! Let's be best friends and have a sleepover... Nope. It won't happen. It's detrimental to you personally and as a writer. Being rejected is part of the job. I was rejected by a magazine this week. They didn't stab me. They didn't spit on my shoes. They certainly didn't insult me personally in any way. I thanked them, put a X in my subs log and looked for another market to submit to. It's just that easy! I feel I'm having to grow a second thick skin. An editorial thick skin, as some writers don't really think a gracious acceptance of a rejection is on the cards. We're occasionally attacked for our decisions, and challenged over our personal feedback. It's hard, and at times, yes, our feelings do get hurt. This isn't me trying to make life easier for us editors. I just want to say hey, before you hit send, what will arguing with an editor really achieve? Necrotic Tissue #9 is our right now at www.necrotictissue.com and Amazon, and all these stories are finger lickin' good! SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD IT'S AUSTRALIA DAYTuesday saw my first ever Australia door. Booze, BBQ and, well, something to wash it down with. Like booze. A good time was had by all, except that when you go to buy beer, don't always go for what's on offer. I bought this Mexican style stuff that had lime and salt in it. It was like drinking fizzy sea water. Mmm. Not the best decision. And as I bought a block of it, I've had to drink the stuff all week! Poor me. Finally I've developed a taste for it...and now there's only 3 left! Alas Australia Day, you are a cruel mistress. ![]() I'M NOT GOING TO DO THE PAN'S PEOPLE LINE. Just a quick mention and salute to one of my oldest buddies in the bidness (as in I've know for a while. He's not 275 years old or anything) Johnny Mains, who sees his double page article on The Pan Book of Horror (and he's the very same creator of the Pan inspired anthology, Back From the Dead: www.nooseandgibbetpublishing.com) appear in the current issue of SFX, which just so happens to be a horror special. Free badges. Be sure to check it out if you happen to see one. I'm getting one sent over from the UK. Cheers mum! To all my loyal followers...I'll see you both next week. Adios mes amigos! (Drink better beer) Thursday, January 21, 2010Do you do Voodoo?![]() INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY (WRITING) Willkommen in Deutschland, mein Freund! This week saw an epic email land in the Manji Towers inbox. The editor of Voodoo Press, who release horror/thriller paperbacks in Germany and surrounding countries, contacted me with regards to some of my work, in particular a story for an upcoming anthology. After a bit of research and seeing this classy Rose Noire anthology, I agreed and things developed.... ...leading to the sale of translation rights for BOTH Samhane and Come Into Darkness! I've visited Germany and lived with a great bunch of German exchange students during my time at uni. This country keeps cropping up in my life, and I'm over the moon that my books will be hitting the shelves over there. Contracts are signed and both books are now with the translator (a job I really don't envy) with tentative release dates of summer for Samhane and winter for Come Into Darkness. Up first will be the as yet untitled anthology, which will feature my clown/living doll story, Tricks, Mischief and Mayhem. In addition news, I've also been asked to appear in a second German anthology, edited by the chairman of the German equivalent of the HWA. It's an honour to feel so...in demand (and that feels really weird and arrogant to say. Sorry folks). And try getting a deal like this and not humming 99 Red Balloons. It simply won't happen. BETTER SHAVE, 'COS THOSE PUBE WRECKING PERVERTS ARE HEADING TO VISIONCON! ![]() Not only is the gross out fest Tabloid Terrors 3: Alien Perverts Wrecked My Pubes available to buy RIGHT NOW from www.skullvines.com, but the series creators Jerrod Balzer and SD Hintz are heading over to Visioncon in Springfield, Missouri with a whole stack of these soiled babies this weekend! I know that if you're going, it'll probably be for Brian Keene or Shane Moore, but please make the time to say hi to the Skullvines boys and check out the book. They might even sign it if you do something obscene. And speaking of obscene, be sure to stay for SD Hintz in the gross out contest! As for me, I'm in a galaxy far, far away and will not be attending. Instead, I shall sit and wait for my copies of Tabloid Terrors 1, 2 and 3 to arrive. That poor. poor post lady... THE POST LADY ![]() The post lady was not hunted down and killed by bikers as I feared the other week, Instead, she brought us this, a copy of Midnight Echo 3, produced by the Australian Horror Writers Association, details here: http://www.australianhorror.com/index.php?view=174 I've been writing for a good few years now. There's nothing worse then being featured in a magazine or antho, only to have the thing arrive and look like shit. It's heart breaking. Thankfully, this wasn't the case with ME3. My God, this is a good looking magazine. Packed with dark fiction and poetry, you've also got a chunk of breathtaking graphic novel and an interview with a surrealist artist! I hope I don't sound like an infomercial here, but this magazine is just soooo good! My ghost story, Living Haunts, is in there. I haven't read it for years, and it's better then I remember it! Woot! AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT So what else has been going on at Manji Towers? The medical went smoothly (despite some...unpleasantness. I don't think I'll be able to look the doctor in the eye, or cough without shivering, again. The things I'm doing for this visa...). No real concerns, blood test and x ray fine, despite the receptionist on the phone asking if I want to 'discuss my HIV with the doctor'. EEP! Thankfully, she was referring to the test, not the diagnosis. Only thing that shocked the doctor was how blind I am without glasses/lenses! Me: Do you think I have problems with my eye sight, doctor? Him: I'm over here. The money we saved having the medical done in Manji rather than Perth was put to good use. We hooked up the Wii to the internet and downloaded some classics: Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Super Street Fighter 2. I'm not one for spending hours in front of the TV playing games, but these really are a blast from my teenage past. The kids love 'em too. AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hooking up the Wii should have been a piece of piss. I bought a LAN adapter and wired it all up...and it didn't work. Just as I was about to start throwing things, my good lady installed a wireless router in the lounge room and hooked up the Wii in minutes. Is my male pride hurt? To be honest...I don't care! We have Super Street Fighter 2! But thank you again, hunny. You definitely wear the pants. FURTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you're planning on leaving a comment to explain exactly why the LAN adapter didn't work...don't. What else? Oh! I finally finished Under the Dome. Find my review over at www.goodreads.com, and add me if you're feeling fancy and friendly. Now back to the Masterton novel I'd been neglecting. Can I finish it before my Tabloid Terrors arrive? NECROTIC TISSUE UPDATE What are you writer guys on? We normally receive a rush of submissions days before the end of the month, when the submissions window closes. However, we're currently being deluged by stories at the moment! I wish my block of EMU beer would magically fill up like my editorial inbox! I love it reading through your submissions, and I'm glad that the majority of you take your rejections on the chin, or even take the time to thank us for the feedback. It means a lot. Don't be too disheartened by a rejection. We're due to receive over a massive 500 submissions this month alone! That's a lot of reading, and R Scott, John and myself are working our arses off to maintain a good turnaround time. 500 stories...roughly 20 spaces in the magazine. Competition is stiff! 10 more days to get your submission in, all you dark fiction writers! www.necrotictissue.com. The January issue is due out very, very soon. Never too late to order, or to subscribe. $20 for a year. That's four issues packed with dark fiction and horror. Did I mention we're number 5 in the fiction zine category in the Preditors and Editors poll? See you all next week. I have a novel to finish, submissions to read and a Triforce to find... Thursday, January 14, 2010Uppers and downers![]() Happy...erm...Thursday everyone. If you live in the vicinity of Manji Towers, I hope you remembered to put your bin out. As per the title of today's blog post, there's been a few good things, and a few bad things, happen of late. Let's do the bad stuff first so I can end on a high (hahahahahaaar!) DOWNERS We enter the vast, paperwork filled world of the visa, with us attempting to get my visa on a permanent basis. Many friends, family and work mates have stepped forwards to provide statements (thank you everyone!) and we actually have more evidence then we thought to support the application, which is good. It's just a ball ache! You need forms to get the bloody forms! A bureaucratic nightmare! Which brings in questions about my health. You need to pass a medical, and I'm having that TODAY right here in Manjimup. Oh dear. It involves a standard medical, chest x ray and blood test. Problem numero uno. Blood test. Needles come in at #2 on my list of fears (after great white sharks), and yes, I know you're thinking about my many tattoos, but that's different. The tattoo needle jabs the skin lightly, doesn't plunge in, penetrating the flesh, scratching the bone... I haven't had a needle since I was a kid, and I always descended rapidly into a land of hysterical violence. Will I be punching out our elderly doctor today? He's been stabbed in the past, so if I do, it shouldn't be too bad. My chief concern is weight. I'm not humongous, but your mother in law saying you're getting a little big (thanks Kate) and the Wii Fit BITCH constantly belittling me, I fear this may come up at the medical. It's just after Christmas. I'll blame that. And another thing with the Wii Fit. When your weight goes up, it asks you why, giving reasons that make it all your fault, such as I didn't exercise, I drank too much, I was snacking, etc. Where's the 'I think your scales are wrong' option? You think those brainy folks at Nintendo would have added all this. I just hope they don't make a dietry version. It would be the emotional wrecking ball of You Are What You Eat. Before you know, I'll be crying on my balance board and shitting in a tupperware container. I've digressed as I always do. What a fuck around if something does come up. Doc: I'm sorry, Daniel. I can't support your visa application. Me: (gutted) But why? I now have to leave my family and be deported! Doc: You have lung cancer. ME: (double gutted) So I'm dying AND have to leave my family? Doc: Yes. And I wasn't going to say anything...but your zipper's open. Probably seems unimportant now. Rest assured, I will let my small but loyal following know the outcome. WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. NO POWERS YET THOUGH. I CHECKED. Medical further complicated by the little emergency (ha!) we had this week. I awoke on Tuesday with what I thought was a mosquito bite on my inner thigh, and very high up on my inner thigh (some extra details for the ladies there). I thought nothing of it until the next day, when it had formed a kind of purple and red fried egg shape on my skin, with a very painful marble-sized lump embedded in the flesh. This is not a boat accident! And it wasn't any propeller, and it wasn't any coral reef, and it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was a...white tail spider. Google the bastards. Thankfully, no necrosis. Just the painful lump and slight nausea. Hospital said just to keep an eye on it for the breakdown, weeping, blistering or ulcerating of the skin. Fun. Thinking of making it my new hobby. We did find (we think) the perp, but with the bug spray, it curled up and died before we had a chance to match the bite marks. ONE LITTLE PROBLEM. EASILY FIXABLE. GIVE ME TEN MINUTES... Writing downers now. We had one of the resident supermodels catch the flu, and the Merc got a puncture. Back to reality, twas the week of two rejections this week, good and bad. Whenever I get a rejection and try to place a humorous comment on Facebook about it, it's in the vain attempt of showing new/novice writers that us a little ways up the track get the same rejections as they do, and it's part and parcel of the gig. I always get comments back like this is my first rejection. I love 'em; they're very charming. Anyway, the good rejection was for a short story and out of 256 subs, mine made the last 30, which isn't too bad in my eyes. Also got personal feedback. I hate it when the editor rejects a piece on what I think is the hook, but different strokes and all that. Story has again been subbed straight out. Bad rejection was for a novel. Now, bear in mind the hours it takes to write a novel. Got that rough estimate in mind? Now... They didn't like the plot. Thus, the subtitle. Easily fixable, yeah? I just need to REWRITE THE ENTIRE NOVEL! Made me laugh. Ah well, that's what a few publishers said about Samhane, and that's out in print this year and the ebook got some great reviews. Time for me to do what I normally do: blow them a raspberry and move on. UPPERS Yay! We're on uppers! Before I forget, Necrotic Tissue is currently at #6 in the Preditors and Editors poll. Think it deserves higher? (You should. The ones above it don't pay as much as us, nor look as good doing it). Here's the link: http://www.critters.org/predpoll/ The contract for the now official novella, Come Into Darkness, has now been signed with Skullvines Press, and a few behind the scenes have been put in motion to get this out. Sorry that's all I can tell you at the moment. But it's good news, yes? Will be available in paperback and download editions. The big news this week has come from Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, one of the top speculative fiction magazines here in Australia. It's been public knowledge for months that my story By the Banks of the Nabarra was to be featured in issue #43, but after an email from the editor, it is now... THE FEATURED COVER STORY! WOO! It won't be my ugly mug on the cover, but a scene from the story. Plus my name will be on there. Very nice. Can't wait to get this in my grimy hands! The Forgotten passed the 80, 000 word mark a few days ago, so book 6 is now officially a novel in my eyes. Hope to get this finished very soon and then have the editing to look forward to (happy happy joy joy). I think that's it (my energy is severely ebbed today). But at least I can feel a bit better about myself. This blog has about 560 followers and is read roughly 70-80 times a week. Not exactly Google, but good enough for me. I feel guilty when I don't add anything new. Special thanks to the person who found my site by searching 'video horror dan sexy'. I hope you found all you wanted and more! Till next time... (Special thoughts going out to fellow writer W D Prescott, who is currently in hospital with severe health problems, We hope to see you on your feet and tapping away at a new short story soon, my friend) Friday, January 01, 2010He gets his forehead from me...![]() HAPPY NEW YEAR I feel cheated. Really cheated. We didn't go out to celebrate New Years last night as 1, we have three children, and 2, can't be doing with drunken arseholes. So we did what I've done for the past ten years or so: got in pizza, beers and movies. The pizza was great, the movies were good and I had...one beer. Yup, just the one. Then why I am I so exhausted this morning? I'm sat at the desk yawning with a coffee in my hand, searching for a couple of matchsticks to prop my eyelids open as I write the first blog of the year. I'm cheated. I feel like I've partied hard. I didn't get to earn this tiredness! I remember last New Years very well, so it's great to see what's gone on between then and now. What a year it's been... LIFE. OH LIFE OO-OH LIFE. OH LIFE. LIFE. OH LIFE. OO-OH LIFE...AND SO FORTH. Always hated that song. Three major, life-changing events took place for me in 2009. I emigrated from England to Australia back in February to be with my partner full time. In almost a year, we haven't had a crossed word once (well, we have, but never raised voices. In fact, it always becomes a surreal farce...). We're nice and settled in the south west and despite some tough times (mostly administrative...which led to financial) we're doing great. I'm confident that the move was the right choice, despite missing my family and friends back in Blighty. We also have that cheeky chappy in my hands there, our first child together, Tobin Ian Russell. It was a roller coaster pregnancy, but thankfully all turned out perfect in the end. He'll be two months old tomorrow, and despite the sleepless nights and the less time to write, I love him to pieces. Hopefully I can make him proud and be a good father as he grows up. Finally, after a few years working for law firms (Calculus conmen and sweet sweet Stephensons) 2009 saw me return to the career I'm actually trained in. Yes, after a few years off, I'm back in the classroom! Following a nightmare of paperwork that took up most the year to get sorted, my degree was finally recognised in Australia, and I started to teach in the small Bridgetown High School, overlooking the scenic valley. Very nice. And the kids aren't too bad. I haven't seen one knife or any spitting. Yay! Still, not as much work as I'd like (we want a bigger house now that we have Tobin) but we have a plan for 2010...sell the other two kids! Bwahaha! Can you buy a house with a couple of camels as a downpayment? I once told Amity I was going to sell her for camels. She smiled, ran to mum and exclaimed: 'We're getting camels!' She had the hump for a week when it didn't happen (drum fill). Another true story. Manji Towers, a new sitcom coming to GWN... HOW MUCH WRITING CAN YOU DO IN A YEAR? Lots, if it's 2009. A record amount of sales and words on page for me this year. A novella, now titled Come Into Darkness, was completed and sold to Skullvines Press for release next...hang on...THIS year. I've also got a brand new novel about 85% completed (and I aim to get this finished in the next 2-3 weeks). There's been lots of short stories written, more so specifically for themed anthologies. Here's 2009 successes: Prosthetics (2009) Malpractice: Anthology of Bedside Terror By the Banks of the Nabarra (2009) Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine Night of the Anals (2009) Tabloid Terrors 3 from Skullvines Press A Picture Tells (2009) Tales From the Cauldron from Library of Horror Press Living Haunts (2009) Midnight Echoes 3 Feakishly Picky - poetry (2009) Bandersnatch Publications Weary Walls - poetry (2009) Bandersnatch Publications Stitches - poetry (2009) Fear and Trembling Magazine November Vapours - poetry (2009) Bandersnatch PublicationsYes, POETRY! First time I've ever attempted poetry and already I've chalked up 4 pro sales. Something else I aim to pursue in 2010. Am I missing anything out? Of course! Necrotic Tissue! 2009 saw me get the gig of associate editor at Necrotic Tissue horror magazine, and despite the hard work and at times late nights, it's an honour to work for such a publication. Submissions are open again this month! We expect to see a record number of submissions in the next 30 days. I'm thinking of writing a screenplay called '30 Days of Slush', where a small group of Necrotic Tissue editors are stranded in a desolate Alaskan town and everywhere they turn, submissions leap upon them, sinking their staples deep and sucking out our time, patience and respect for fellow writers... Only kidding! ;-) Oh, and please vote for us in the Preditors and Editors poll: http://www.critters.org/predpoll/fictionzine.shtml. You just need to provide an email address to confirm your vote. PLEEEEEASE VOTE! Last year, NT tied in 6th place with Australian childrens' magazine Cherububble, and R. Scott McCoy has had to put with unicorn related barbs ever since. Vote to save his soul! www.necrotictissue.com. Stygian, the publisher behind NT, has also picked up my novel Samhane for release this year...in paperback! Thank you so much to the people who bought, read and commented on the ebook version, especially those that left feedback on www.goodreads.com. I hope you'll stay with me. I love my fanbase. It's so small I know people's individual names. Ah, such a personal level rarely seen from a published novelist! And while I'm doing thanks: Thank you to the readers who regularly stop by this blog and for those that take the time to send me a message telling me they enjoy it. It means a great deal to me. Apart from the last message I got, which was from 'Busty Escorts'. That was just weird... (true story! It's here in the blog comments somewhere. Do I come across as needing a Busty Escort? Be honest...) BOOKS OF 2009 My top 10 reads. They weren't all released this year, just ones I got my bassist fingers on. 1. The Kult by Shaun Jeffrey 2. FEAST by R. Scott McCoy 3. The Association by Bentley Little 4. Ritual by Graham Masterton 3. Naomi by Douglas Clegg 6. Duma Key by Stephen King 7. Mama's Boys and Other Dark Tales by Fran Friel 8. Offseason by Jack Ketchum 9. The Talisman by King and Straub 10. Hellbound Hearts by various Don't agree? I see what you're up to... I think, for now, that's about it. I'm still very, very tired and the coffee did nothing. I've promised the family a full English for breakfast too, so I better load up on the caffeine and get gone. Happy New Year, everyone! PS - Anyone else got a Wii Fit? We got one for the family for Christmas, and it's been a lot of fun. However, it says I'm overweight. I'm officially overweight. Too much writing, not enough exercise? When it gives me a fitness age, my Mii becomes a skeleton. A fat skeleton. Is this good? Enquiring minds want to know. I have no idea why I've put weight on. Anyway, time to cook this breakfast. See you sooooon! Sunday, December 20, 2009Free Christmas Fiction!
Should my story 'It Comes But Once a Year' have not made the shortlist for Festive Fear 2, I was entertaining the idea of this silly little Christmas piece. I wanted to do some new, free fiction for Christmas, so took an hour out to write it. Don't expect any Bram Stoker winning short here, just some Christmas fun. The ending sucks major balls anyway. Merry Christmas! A VERY ENGLISH CHRISTMAS Every year the same old bleedin’ shite. Ken, lying in a recliner, popped the button of his jeans, opened the zipper and exhaled. The pressure on his gut subsided somewhat; the lashings of turkey, stuffing, pigs in blankets and roast potatoes succumbed by the slight extra room. Quite a meal, oh yes, quite a meal. The best thing about Christmas. He’d even eaten the traditional Brussel sprout or two, despite He picked up the remote from the arm of the chair and flicked to ITV. “Oi!” moaned Tansy. “We were watching that!” “Were you balls,” Ken grumbled at his daughter. “You can’t mess with that thing and watch the TV at the same time.” She sat perched at the end of the sofa, messing with some pink Japanese bullshit gizmo. An I-something. Everything had to have an I in front of it now. He’d joked to “Haven’t you got it working yet?” Tansy shrugged her shoulders. No surprise there then. Even with the few apparent buttons the thing had, it was proving too much for his airhead daughter to understand. Ken studied her for the hundredth time, bemused by her denim miniskirt and tiny vest top. Snow flakes danced past the glass of the patio behind her. The house felt like a bloody sauna. “Sweety?” “Yeah?” “Is it nearly time for her?” He checked his watch and sighed. “Nearly.” “Oh it just makes the day,” his wife warbled. “Have you tried your present yet?” Ken’s gaze dropped to the black plastic case in his shirt pocket. Darts. New ones. “Haven’t you seen the snow? Be freezing out in the garage.” He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, checked the contents and then smeared it on the arm of the recliner. “It can wait.” “Phew!” She gasped and fanned her face, dropping onto the sofa next to Tansy, who was frantically shaking the I-gizmo. “Like a greenhouse in here.” “Then turn the heating down!” said Ken and stared back at the TV. Adverts. He watched out for any mentioning Easter. “It’s been a tough year,” said Ken frowned. “How so?” “Well, watching the people of your country suffer and worry.” He snorted. “This ain’t her country. All she does is bloody sponge of us workin’ stiffs.” And that was when he could work. The building industry was on its arse. Not much demand for plasterers these days. Not like the blessed eighties. The money they’d had to scrimp and save just for Christmas. Tansy’s I-thing coast close to two hundred notes. She also wanted a download of this year’s X Factor winner, predictably, unable to think for herself. Ken had seen him. Some baby-faced whiney crooner. Shit show. Shit singer. Take any old thug off the street, shave him and give a bit of hair gel and put him in a suit. Viola. Frank fucking Sinatra. And a download? When he was a teenager, you had records. LPs. You could hold them in your hands because, guess what? They were real. At least Damien’s PS3 was real. His son had opened the package, grunted and taken it upstairs to his bedroom. They hadn’t seen him since, and that was about seven hours ago. In hindsight, Ken wished they’d bought him one weeks earlier. “It’s starting!” said Ken grabbed the remote and turned up the volume for her. “And now on ITV1, the Queen’s Christmas speech.” Bollocks, thought Ken. At least Goldfinger’s on after this… Onscreen, a cosy drawing from faded in from black. An open fire burned below hanging stockings. A grand piano stood to the left ready for carols, and to the right, the biggest Christmas tree Ken had ever seen, laden with decorations with brightly wrapped presents stockpiled underneath. Glad to see the economic crisis has touched us all, Ken seethed. The Queen stood by the fireplace, ever the short, harsh, sour-faced old bat she’d always been. The aunty that made you eat liver and onions and wrapped your knuckles with a spoon should you put your elbows on the table. She peered over spectacles. "Christmas is a time for celebration,” she said, as wooden and miserable as the chick from that Twilight movie, “but this year it is a more sombre occasion for many. Some of those things which could once have been taken for granted suddenly seem less certain and, naturally, give rise to feelings of insecurity.” “Amen to that,” Ken told her. “No “Ken!’ "People are touched by events which have their roots far across the world. Whether it is the global economy or violence in a distant land, the effects can be keenly felt at home.” Her eyes glimmered gold. Ken leaned forward slightly, gaze fixed to the screen. “Did you-?” “For the last time,” The Queen winked, quite cheeky for a lady of her standing. Those eyes flashed golden, like two shiny pound coins, behind her glasses. Ken felt a little better and settled back down, transfixed by her kind, loving expression. “But I have a solution,” she said, a little knowing, like Anne Robinson before she booted someone off The Weakest Link. In an instant, the tiny pensioner ripped a poker from the stand by the fire place and plunged it forward. Tansy and “Is this some kind of joke?” Tansy asked. The camera angle slid to the side and plummeted. Viewers now saw a side view of a plush, elaborate carpet. A bloody hand – the cameraman? – flopped into the picture. “It has to be,” said Ken remained in the recliner, watching nonchalantly. Two pairs of feet emerged from the right, circling each other like they’d waltzed in. A gurgling choke, and another body fell to the floor, a man in a light blue shirt with large earphones clamped over his head. A boom, a guinea pig on a pole, fell from his hand. A knife, or perhaps a letter-opener, jutted from the scarlet geyser of his throat. Tansy and The Queen, still smiling and with her eyes still shimmering, leaned in close and leered out of the TV screen. “I have the solution,’ she said again, her grin amplifying the cracks in her ancient face. The picture suddenly clicked off, immediately replaced with the ITV1 symbol. “We apologise for the loss in picture and sound,” said the mellow announcer. “We’re working to rectify the situation, and in the meantime, here’s some music.” The whiney X Factor winner again. “It…it has to be a joke,” whispered Tansy. “Or terrorists,” added Ken reached for the black case, popped it open and removed his darts, poking the Union Jack flights into the tungsten stems. He forced the recliner to the upright position and stood, scratching his balding head. “Jesus. Well…she had one thing right…” “What dear?” Ken smiled. “I have the solution.” The darts, clutched together in his sweaty right hand, slid through her eye ball like a cocktail stick pronging a pickled onion. The membrane popped and aqueous humour ejaculated from the socket. Eye… he thought. Eye…I? Ken, enjoying Christmas and full of festive cheer, spun to face his daughter. She cowered against the front door, which remained locked since the night before. Of course, her slutty miniskirt had no pockets. No pockets meant no keys, but the moron didn’t realise you needed keys to open a door. Her hand slid around the door handle in vain attempt to turn it. In one fluid motion, Ken grabbed her I-thing from the I-sofa, and rammed it into her I-mouth, knocking out several of her I-teeth. She cried, her lips pulsating around her Christmas gift. “Shhhh!” he cooed. “It’s Christmas. You know what that means?” He stared at her. She whimpered. “Do you know what that means?” he asked, louder, squeezing her throat. She frantically shook her head, tears cascading down her cheeks. Her eyes bulged. Ken leaned in close to her. “It means…James Bond’s on the telly. Goldfinger this year. You gonna be quiet so dad can watch it?” She sniffed, yet a trickle of clear snot escaped her nose. She locked eyes with him and nodded. “Good,” he said, relieved. “Sing with me. Si-lent niiiiight…” He smashed her head back against the door. Her body swayed in his grasp. “Ho-ly niiiiight!” CRASH! Blood marred the white paint of the door. It looked like a face. “Alllllll is caaaaalm….” He put a bit more effort into this one. Her skull cracked with the sound of breaking a hardboiled egg. “Well it is now,” he said, out of breath and dropping his daughter’s lifeless body to floor. “Now. The solution.” He approached the window. A man ran past, a hand pressed to a bloody wound in his head. He left a delightful pattern in the snow. A woman ran after him, brandishing a rolling pin. Good old Mrs. Perkins, making mince pies again, Ken guessed. Ah Christmas, he thought wistfully. My favorite time of year. Humming Jingle Bells to himself, he strode over to his wife and plucked the darts from her face. Sighing in contentment and filled with Christmas spirit, he wondered if Damien wanted a game, and headed upstairs, unaware that his jeans had fallen around his ankles. Monday, December 14, 2009Sucky sucky things, Festive Fear and good deeds by a bad writer![]() THE EMPEROR'S THUMB Woke up this morning to find an email from Jerrod Balzer, one of the editors over at Skull Vines Press (and the artist of that stunning rendition of Vulva, the Albino Nympho Alien Lesbian from the upcoming Tabloid Terrors 3: Alien Perverts Wrecked my Pubes. How many of you can to this page to see what THAT was all about, eh? You sicken me.), requesting a meeting. We agreed 10am Aussie time, which gave me chance to help Sherie sort out the kids and the baby, all the time worrying about what he wanted. See, there's quite a few presses having to cut down on the number of books they're releasing, due to the economic climate, work load, etc. They've had one of my novella submissions, a nasty piece called Fear of the Dark, for quite sometime. Taking on a few moderately big small press names like Shane Moore and Wrath James White, I was told to expect a decision sometime in 2010, due to their workload. I was expecting a NO decision, without them even reading all of the manuscript, for the same reason (nothing personal there, boys) as others: too many books, too little time to get them out without letting quality slide. This ain't no cowboy operation. Yes, you presses that seem to release crappy anthologies every other week. I'm talking to you! SOMETHING TO FIRE UP MY CHRISTMAS SPIRIT Anyhoo, so I'm worrying about this upcoming meeting and then get another email, this time from Tasmaniac Publications (one of the very few horror publishers here in Australia. Trust me, I've looked). Tasmaniac have just released the horror anthology, Festive Fear, which is selling out FAST where ever it is sold (here's the review from the Australian Horror Writers' Association: www. ozhorrorscope.blogspot.com/2009/11/book-review-festive-fear.html. Festive Fear is available here www.horror-mall.com and here www.jeffnjoys.co.uk. Move fast, as it has SOLD OUT everywhere else!). Submissions opened for next year's edition, and I was mad keen to get in. Well, I'm shortlisted with my horror/humour piece, It Comes But Once a Year (or as it's known by friends on Facebook, 'The Spunk Story'). I stand a good chance of getting in and getting my hands on that $50 payment, which can help to fund next year's Christmas splurge-athon. Honestly, with three kids, I think it was a choice between Christmas presents or a down payment on a beachfront 5 bedroom... THE MEETING...(bites fingernails) The editor in chief at SVP, SD Hintz, had read the novella and offered me a contract. Whoo hoo! The deal shits all over anything I've had previously, and is on par with my upcoming agreement for Samhane with Stygian Publications. Gonna be a good year in 2010. Great to be on the roster with Shane and Wrath as mentioned above, as well as Michele Lee, Garry Charles and L L Soares. We just need to think of another title, as Fear of the Dark is the same title as an Iron Maiden song, which as Jerrod pointed out, means potential readers having to possibly search through the Iron Maiden stuff to find it. We felt that SD's suggestion, Fear of the bit you know when they go down into that dark room and there's slime on the walls and those sucky sucky things come out might be a tad long, nor were we keen on the abridged version, Fear of the Sucky Sucky Things, which I believe was the original title of the Twilight saga, which is a bit silly. I mean, to like Twilight, you're obviously not afraid of things that suck. Ah, you'll agree with me when you reach your twenties... DANIEL I RUSSELL OFFENDS TWILIGHT READERS Yup. SUMMER'S HERE! And to top it all off, I just had an ice cream and have a cold can of coke chilling in the fridge. Bliss on a super hot day like today. Good times! It was 99 degrees here yesterday, so we took the kids swimming. I did the whole dunking Tobin under the water thing. He took it really well, but shot me a glare he could only have got from his mother (bless 'er. She normally has a joking go at the little comments I put in here about her. Yup honey, it was quite minor this week). Off topic, I just looked out the window to see our motorbike post lady being chased by another motorbike. Hope she's ok... What else has happened. Oh, Necrotic Tissue #9 is nearly ready to go out the door to subscribers and single issue readers. Interview with Joe R Lansdale is entertaining and insightful (when is the man not?) and R. Scott McCoy gives readers the inside scoop on what was this year's Context convention. Stuck for xmas gift ideas? Get a Necrotic Tissue subscription. A year for a mere $20! www.necrotictissue.com. I also helped my father in law to scrub down and paint and elderly neighbour's house. While I can't agree on the colour (canary yellow?) it was hard, rewarding work. It's nearly Christmas. Can you think of a person who needs something doing and is unable to do so? Do a nice thing. Especially for the older folks. TWILIGHT FANS FORGIVE DANIEL I RUSSELL FOR OFFENDING THEM IN LIGHT OF GOOD DEEDS Yay! See you next week. Can Dan survive the stress? Can he cope with watching any more dvds in the classroom for the final week? (Although Howl's Moving Castle was great!) Can the purchase of yet more gifts bankrupt/kill him? Probably. Monday, December 07, 2009...rising from the flames...![]() Like most human beings, I'm aware that some people don't like me (jerks), so this next bit is just for them. Sitting comfortably? Ready to rub your hands together, throw your head back and laugh like some comic book super villain? Good. This week, I experienced a very, very weird feeling in my career. Some of you writers will have heard about the Leisure Horror Fresh Blood contest. I entered this in July, as with my novels not having been released in print, I was eligible. The contest closed in September, with the ten finalists being announced in November. There was a few novels of mine 'out there' and any positive decisions needed to be kept quiet to keep me in the contest. Needless to say, having my novels on hold for the last 5 months, I didn't make the cut. To be a novelist with Leisure is my ambition, so imagine your dreams being stamped on and you'll know how I felt not seeing my name on that list (and a tad unprofessional in my book. I saw the finalists on a guy's twitter update, and it was a few days before I got the official email). You laughing, haters? ;-) But then, this weird feeling swept over me. Excitement. Rather then have months of stress and canvassing for votes to stay in the comp, I don't need to! Plus (and yes, you may consider this sour grapes) a few things didn't sit right with me viewing the finalists. Most of them have no presence on the web, suspicious for an aspiring writer. Pen name, anyone? (This tactic was suggested to me. Curse my honesty!). There's a few other gripes I have with one or two other finalists (maybe if I sent my bio and published credits, I may have made a better impression) but get over it, Dan. And now, I can resume the search for other publishers (yay!) and agents (boo!). THIS IS THE NEWS Here we go. Begone gloaters, for here comes the good news. DO NOT BUY SAMHANE. That's right. Funny request isn't it, a writer asking you NOT to buy his book. I haven't been happy with my current publisher for a long long time. The book took 18 months to get through the editing process (a fact not helped that three separate editors did the job - no issues with them as individuals, they did a great job. Just the process was sooo frustrating!) and to this day has not been promoted by the publisher. The selected excerpt wasn't posted, rather, the first half of the first chapter, badly formatted to the point it's unreadable. My reviews (and they've all been good thus far. Check out Samhane at www.goodreads.com for example) weren't even posted on the site with the book. I've been trying to get out of my contract for a long time, but the publisher has stuck to their guns and the download is still for sale at their site. However, they did revert the print rights back to me....so... In 2010, I'm pleased to announce that Samhane will be released in paperback by Stygian Publications, the same folks that brought you the critically acclaimed Malpractice anthology and the force that supports our very own Necrotic Tissue magazine. I'm sure the book will be reasonably priced, look great and be widely available. Out of all my novels, Samhane has always been my baby, being my first novel and all. Sales haven't been great, what with the poor advertising and ebook version only, but I'm sure Stygian can change all that. Readers love it, and we hope to reach a lot more in 2010. Watch this space. AND SPEAKING OF NECROTIC TISSUE... All potential contributors be aware that submissions open again in January and for January only. This time, not only do all contributors get 1c a word as usual, and one story selected as the best of issue be awarded the pro rate of 5c a word...but check this out from the Stygian blog: "As many of you know, NT already pays one writer per issue Pro Pay of 5 Cents per word. In cooperation with Quatre Con, we are having a horror writing contest for our January submission period. The winner will also receive 5 Cents per word and publication in our July issue along with 5 contributor copies and they will be announced as the winner at Quatre Con in Sacramento, Saturday, April 10th at 2 PM. That's two chances out of twenty two stories we will select for July that will receive Pro Pay. What are you waiting for?? Oh yeah, January 1st. Submissions rules are the same as always, please check out our guidelines at www.necrotictissue.com." In addition: "Stygian Publications is pleased to announce a fantasy short story contest for the Abyss Walker Anthology, a new joint venture with the creator Shane Moore. All stories must take place in the Abyss Walker world. You can write a story about your favorite character or create a new one and they may be set in any time. Guidelines at www.stygianpublications.blogspot.com, so there's plenty for you writers to be getting on with. 2010 also sees Necrotic Tissue go under a slight change in respect of the chief editor. R. Scott McCoy has done a sterling job over the last few years, but in 2010, he's sharing the wealth (or is that burden?) with his associate editors (or is that whipping boys?) John P Wilson and yours truly. We're going to get an issue each, July for John and October for myself with us in charge of the layout, articles, formatting, etc. The submission process will be the same (so no hate mail if you don't get into the October issue, please). Going to be a lot of work, but worth it and great experience. A big thank you to Scott for this amazing opportunity. AND ANOTHER NOVEL...WELL...NOVELLA My novella Fear of the Dark, a nasty little piece, like Alice in Wonderland on a bad LSD trip, is currently under consideration by the mighty Skull Vines Press. The boys are mad busy with the Abyss Walker series (again, see the comp above) and this might be another 2010 release if the final light is green. But I'm hearing good feedback, so fingers crossed. 2010 might be a good year! Sunday, November 29, 2009Sexy guitars, albino lesbians and threatening elephants...it's a shit business.![]() Has my absence from the internet been noticed of late? Us writers tend to be a reclusive sort (unless we're trying desperately to pimp our books), but I try to be readily available. There's been a few things happening here at Manji Towers that have kept me away from my corner of clowns (not you, my decor). Here's a brief rundown: YOUR PARENTS ARE HERE. LOOK BUSY. My parents arrived here from England a week ago and they've been living with us, seeing the sights and doing the Aussie thing. I think they're quite enjoying it. Hell, we've all enjoyed it, except that this weekend, my father and I caught...something. We have no idea what it was or where it came from, but we got it BAD. Perhaps it was food poisoning (despite not being able to work out what we both ate exclusively - unless there was an incubation period). It preceded one of the most agonising nights of my life, and wanting to simply to be shot in the head to escape the constant vomiting, stomach cramps and hallucinations! And to make matters worse, the next day we were booked to stay in a flash hotel in Como, Perth. That would require a 3 1/2 drive in the hot sun! Wasn't fun, but thankfully, Sherie did ALL the driving, the little star. Luckily, we felt better the next day and had another fun-filled day at the zoo. Which brings me to the elephant... DUMBO? DON'T LET HIM HEAR YOU SAY THAT... I'm sure that if I asked what the scariest animal at the zoo was, you'd perhaps say lions (no...sleeping), snakes (no...sleeping) or koalas (no...sleeping...but the stink was pretty scary). Elephants? No. Elephants are quite friendly and cute and have curly trunks and big floppy ears. The elephant we watched feed was all these things, but still... As it was so hot, the keepers had encased the elephant's food in a block of solid ice. Was about the size of a big cardboard box. This elephant strolled out, had a butchers and delicately laid his foot (and it was a he...it had 5 legs. Reminded me a little of myself...what with the big nose) on the block. And this was the scary part. Quite nonchalantly, and with what appeared no effort, the elephant OBLITERATED the block. It just exploded. My dad shouted "Imagine that was your head!" Yes, the elephant has a new found respect with this writer now. I was going to write an Australian nature runs amok novella called ROO! or maybe Stink of the Koala...but maybe I'll set it in Africa and call it Half Ton Head Stompers. Wait, that was the biography of the WWF tag team The Natural Disasters, wasn't it? So the zoo was good, and then we went swimming in the hotel pool afterwards. I've rediscovered the joys of swimming, and hope to again this week here in Manji. One thing though, Spas are dangerous, the hotter the more dangerous...erm...er. MMMMMMMMM...LICK MY HUMBUCKERS! Wondering why the sexy guitar is the headline pic this week? That's because my parents also arrived with some special cash that was to be passed on to me. Rather than pay the bills or rent or buy the groceries, this money was to be spent on something more concrete. Since the concrete shop was closed, I opted for a fancy new guitar and amp set up. For those of you that knew me about a year ago, you'll remember that I had to sell all my music equipment to fund my move to Australia. I'm starting from scratch. But this investment allowed me something I've never had before: choice. I could basically afford any guitar in the shop. I opted for the sleek and sexy Gibson SG in black. Not only will I get much enjoyment from playing, but I see this as an investment if things get desperate. Having an 'Angus' (AC/DC) guitar as the man in the shop called it in Western Australia isn't a bad choice, and I've already been cranking out Back in Black on it. The amp I got is a beaut too (fuck, that sounded Australian). A Peavy with more settings then the Hubble Telescope. The distortion is mental, and I have flange and reverb and more...everything I want. I love it and want to marry it. Between Sherie and the new SG, there's competition for the sexiest thing in the house. (I'm sorry, hunny, my six-stringed siren!) ALBINO SPACE LESBIANS ABOUT TO LAND IN YOUR TERRITORY The boys over at Skull Vines Press (www.skullvines.com) have been working their asses off of late. Besides cranking out the top quality fiction, including Black Jack Derringer by Karen Koehler and the newly acquired Abyss Walker series by Shane Moore (wow! And did you know there is an Abyss Walker inspired antho currently seeking admissions through our very own Stygian Publications? www.stygianpublications.blogspot.com) work is also continuing on the acclaimed series Tabloid Terrors, with the third installment out very soon.Followers will know of my albino space lesbian story, the artwork of which was hot off the pencil of series co creator Jerrod Balzer (don't sniff the end of it) this week. This picture is the most I can reveal without being heavily censored. You guys have got to pick this up. The other...ahem...artwork made me cry out in surprise at half six in the morning. I can't wait to see what else is in this book! More details to follow. In other writing news, due to the lack of time, the current novel still lies untouched, but a new short story has been started and I sold another pro poem, this time to the collection, These Apparitions: Haunted Reflections of Ezra Pound by Bandersnatch. Again, more news to follow. I enjoyed this immensely. One of my more literary pieces. On the flipside, Big Ole Face Full of Monster has died, which is a shame. They had my horror/humour story which now needs a home. If you like a general splashing of man fat with your horror and fancy buying this one, drop me a line. That's enough rambling today. Time for some reading and then an early night. To Bedfordshire! Sunday, November 08, 2009Blood. Mucus. Amniotic fluid. Urine. The beauty of childbirth!![]() I asked Tobin if I could blog about him. He had to think about it for a bit... This post had to come. Ah, to use hindsight! I'm finding all things writing-wise pretty hard of late, just due to the lack of sleep. You can confirm this with Sherie. I'm such a grouch after a bad night's sleep. But I had a nap over lunch and have my massive clown mug full of coffee, so let's hit this. A lot of people know the news already, and thank you sooooo much for all the messages left on Facebook (105 likes and 108 comments, not including all the wall comments). It was something really nice for Sherie to read through when she got home. We also want to thank Greg Hall for announcing the news on last week's Funky Werepig radio show. So what happened? Here's the last few days of this epic saga: (imagine this next bit in scrolling Superman/Star Wars opening narrative with dramatic music by Harry Manfredini) THE STORY SO FAR... After proving all his 'you're shooting blanks' friends wrong, hack shlock writer Dan and his lovely horror poet partner Sherie became pregnant in February 2009. Following a few ups and downs, including 23 week premature labour (tres bad) and labour in week 35, we find the family still pregnant and bored one hot and sunny Australian afternoon... With me so far? This was Halloween by the way. Many people, me included, believed that fate had ordained our child to be born on All Hallows Eve, what with our horror history. This was almost the case. My other job, the one that pays more bills (have you bought any of my books? Then it's your fault. I hope you feel good about yourself ;0) ) is teaching at Bridgetown High School. Nice place with only about 150 kids. No knives or windscreens smashed yet, which is always a plus. And they always seem to have freshly baked goods for free in the staffroom. Yeah, on that score every kid can be handed a katana and choice of semiautomatic and I'd still go in. Our eldest two kids at 5 and 4 sometimes get a bit emotional when they see me in my suit and tie and know I'm going to the high school, so we thought it would be good for them to visit the place when it was closed at the weekend, have a nosey around and see where daddy works. The school has a dirt road that runs from the bottom of the school drive to the edge of the library, and this was the first place I drove up on my first day. Anyone who knows Bridgetown knows of the hills. Lost of hills. Lots of steep, high hills. Like Wales. Anyway, I wanted to show Sherie this bumpy road that I climbed up in a dodgy old Nissan Patrol 4x4. The road had been regravelled (is that even a legit word?) and we walked down. You know that moment when the ground starts to slide away beneath your feet and you try to regain your footing but, deep inside, you know you're going down and there's nothing you can do about it? I fell forwards, ducked into a roll and ended up someways down the hill, a little scratched and bruised. The kids were very concerned. Sherie was very amused and wanted me to do it again to film it with her camera phone. Ahem. Judgement reserved on that little gem. I was just glad that the young couple from the school we saw wandering around didn't see it, and the incident didn't enter the student grapevine: "For the last time, face the front!" "Okay, Sir. Jeez. Don't fall down a hill over or anything..." *Shudders* Could Sherie's hysterical laughter have been the start of it all? At bedtime that night (we were tired so didn't even watch a horror film on Halloween. Yes, and I call myself a horror writer) Sherie visited the bathroom and noticed a trickle of fluid from where it shouldn't be (not her arse. Sicko). But don't waters gush when they break? We left it and the same thing happened in the morning. I took her to the hospital and our super doctor (remember from the last post, he won't rape you) did a few tests. Waters had broken...albeit slowly. Baby's head was so deep in the cervix, it was effectively plugging in the amniotic fluid. Now was the race against time. Waters had broken at approximately 9pm the night before, and the doc said that after 24 hours the risk of infection is high. He wanted bub out by 9pm. It was now lunchtime. TO BE CONTINUED... Only kidding. Think I can remember this shit after another week? A nurse stole my chocolate cake with custard while we were in ultrasound. I'm not going into detail on this. It...it still hurts. There were no contractions, so nothing to push baby out. Hmm, a worry. Sherie was induced, which involves hooking her up to a drip of stuff called Syntocinon (SYNTOCINON! How we love thee! Think I'm going to get a bag of it and frame it on the wall). The drug contracts the uterus, and she was given 1ml per hour and this was gradual increased to 5ml per hour. Sherie went into contractions, but they were bearable. In fact the midwives were gobsmacked that she was dealing with the pain so well (we have video footage of her laughing her way through a contraction. I shit you not) and they were worried that she might not be human. But then...close to 11pm...they started to ease off! This was 35 weeks all over again! While we walked laps around the hospital to try and get something going, our doc was stressing. The C word (not THAT C word. I mean the C section word) was in his head, and this required a trip up to Bunbury in an ambulance. With nothing much happening, he spoke to the docs up there, who (thankfully) advised we stay in Manjimup and crank up the Synto. Sherie was then put on 6ml...and the 12ml! As they were about to up the dose to a whopping great 24ml an hour...the fun began. All joking aside (what, me? Yes.) you've got your men that start bar fights in Manji on a Friday night. You have men who work a grueling 10 hour shift in the mill. You got guys into weight lifting and martial arts. Pussys. The lot of 'em. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can prepare you for the sight of your loved one in full blown, last half hour labour. Whenever I write a torture scene in a novel, this is what I'll be thinking of. She's one tough cookie. Sherie, my beautiful, determined angel, has been through labour 3 times with this baby and even at the end game, didn't have any pain relief. She just clenched her teeth and pushed. And roared. There was lots of roaring. Reminded me of the 'there is no Dana, only Zool' scene from Ghostbusters, but obviously there was no floating three feet over the bed nonsense. Dr T (before he was qualified, he wouldn't get on no plane, sucka) was called and 17 minutes later, he was at the business end, ready to catch like he was backstop at the world series. "Three more pushes and baby will be here," he says. "Three?" screams Sherie in bewilderment. "Yes, three," says I. He'd said it quite clearly. Sherie pushed and I was busy holding her hand and doing the whole breathing thing (the asthmatic fish one). I saw something out the corner of my eye...and there was baby in the Dr T's hands. Sherie didn't need the other two pushes. Uterus of steel, that one. Tobin Ian Russell. Son of Harlequin and Torana. Born 2nd November 2009 at 2.03am. 4lb 12. Room looked like an abattoir and smelled like one too. Birth is not pretty. They checked him out and he was great (though bawling his head off) in fact, both doc and midwife gave him a rating of 10/10. The first baby at Manji to receive such a rating. Top of the class already! I held him while Sherie showered and got cleaned up. Photo were taken and we retired back to the hospital room. Surprisingly comfy beds for new dads. The rest, as they say, is history that's not as interesting as the history retold here. Jeez, that's a long saying. Everyone is home and doing fine. Tobin is a night baby (whoohoo! ...sigh) so sleep is now a commodity. I can change nappies like the Ferrari pit team changes tyres. The bodily fluids are still flowing, which leads to stories about bodily fluids (including one about a woman in Bridgetown who uses breast milk for everything. DON'T eat the cookies). Things are gradually settling, and hopefully, The Forgotten can get finished soon. I know a few people are waiting for the completed manuscript. That's it. Thanks for reading through. It's probably the best story I've had the pleasure to tell. It's all down hill from here, writing wise anyway. Next week will be more writing orientated, I promise. Oh, and baby Tobin has a thing about piss. He saves it until we change him. He managed to get his big sister in the mouth this week and tried to get me today, the little terror! More urination updates coming soon... Tuesday, October 27, 2009Baby? Do you want to come out? Yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but, no, but...![]() Thank you, some of you, for the messages and wall posts requesting an update on this week's events. Rather then reply to you all individually and therefore avoid the indignity of the old copy 'n' paste routine, thought it would be prudent to post this to summarise the whole thing. I may ramble, but here goes. We awoke on Monday morning at 7am with Sherie having contractions. This isn't anything new as she'd been suffering with them on and off for about a week and half. These were coming every five minutes or so. No Funky Werepig for me that morning! We went to the hospital and had her checked out. Our doctor performed a test that states if Sherie would go into full blown labour in the next 24 hours. Was a bit disheartening to see our doctor and a nurse going through the instructions like it was a a wardrobe from Ikea. I'm just glad they read the English page and the not the Swedish. Anyway, the test came back positive. We were having a baby. Or were we? I did the mad panic around to grab prepacked suitcases and to fill the car up. Sherie stayed in a hospital bed. Lazy. With a few seconds to tell Greg Hall, Scott McCoy et al in the party pen that we were in labour, it was back to the hospital and await the flying doctor. As Sherie was flown up to Perth, I drove the three and a half hour journey, getting nicely tanned forearms along the barren Perth-Bunbury Highway. I found Sherie in the Foetal Assessment unit, and the fun began. Sherie's doctor in Perth was a friendly Indian bloke with a lazy eye. In fact, he had two lazy eyes and looked a bit like something from a 1930's Universal horror movie. His assistant was a medical student, or Doug, as I shall refer to him (and any Scrubs fans might know where I'm going with this). He had to take a blood sample. Jesus. He held the needle to his face. I then noticed he had a squint and a nervous twitch. A BAD nervous twitch. This wasn't going to be good. In went the needle... Blood was spurting everywhere, and this young doctor, forever the professional, responded with 'GODDAMMIT!'. The bed looked like Tina's death scene in Nightmare on Elm Street, and Sherie's arm was butchered. Next, and with the contractions increasing in power, Sherie went into the birthing suite, which was quite nice with a TV, ensuite and view of Subiaco stadium. We spent the night watching Two and a Half Men and Big Bang Theory. The most fun part was listening to the almost medieval torture screams echoing down the corridor. I, of course (and I was quite bored at this point. The contractions weren't doing much more) passed the time by poking a little fun at the other women. For example, asking Sherie to go in the birthing suite next door and politely say Sssssssh! More professionalism ensured with the midwife student chuckling at the 'that woman made a noise like a camp guy at a surprise party' comments. Oh, the fun we had. At 11pm, the guards changed and we had a new midwife in the room. Hardcore midwife. This woman should sell used cars, or if she got a TV gig, the Shamwow. She could sell anything...including morphine. Sherie, bless her, had been having regular, strong contractions. I know because I was monitoring the...the...okay, I don't know what it was called, but I could read the graphs onscreen. She did little more then groan every so often. So proud of her. She's tougher then I could ever be. Anyway, the midwife was concerned that after 12 hours in labour (she woke up at 7am having contractions, remember) that she needed a rest for the big push. Morphine would take the edge off, and let her have a few hour's sleep. The midwife went on and on and on...and I think we only eventually said yes to shut her up! The morphine did indeed take the edge off, but morphine can also bring a mum out of labour, which we think was the hospital's ulterior motive. By the next morning, things had died down completely. 30 hours in labour and no baby. Which is good in a way because the baby was only at 35 weeks gestation. While this was the furthest Sherie had ever gone, a few more weeks in the oven wouldn't go amiss, especially as our baby is quite small. They wouldn't let her go home, and we spent the following week at the hospital. This is always costly (remember when Sherie was up there for 2 weeks back at 23 weeks?). We needed meals (I needed meals) and things got quite boring. You have to rent TVs to watch. We walked regularly into Subiaco just for something to do. I had my current read with me (eventually got around to reading King's Duma Key) and that occupied me during the nights at my uncle-in-law's city centre apartment. So many red Honda Getz going underneath the balcony. Stuart Lister should live in Perth. We also found a decent bookstore. Books are very expensive over here, which is why I tend to buy them in the uk and have them shipped over! However, the Leisure Horror books were reasonable and I managed to snag novels by Douglas Clegg, Sarah Pinborough, Graham Masterson and Nate Kenyon. Sherie even got way into the Masterson! We were finally allowed to go home after a largely dull week of Swooping Magpie warnings (pic to follow), hospital food experimentation and my crumbling sanity (I have now seriously had enough of seeing pregnant women. No joke. A parade of them walked past me on the last day while we waited for the decision to let us go home. I then had to move the car and went to leave the hospital. The lift doors opened, and there were 8 of them inside. I think I'm developing a phobia!). And here we are. It was a nerve shredding and tiring week, but we're back. Bub still in the oven...and now we can have the baby here as we're past 36 weeks! Yay! 36 and 2 actually. According to some in the know, this means bub is no longer classed as a prem baby. But the question is, will baby be born on Halloween? Hope so! Nothing much to report on the writing side. The current novel is still sitting at 60k and nothing has been added to it as I've been away from home. I did manage to sell another poem at pro rates, and that was to Fear and Trembling with my poem, Stitches. I'm very surprised with the acceptance actually as I don't really feel like a poet. Anyway, that makes three pro sales now. Maybe there's something in it? It was written for Sherie over a year ago, and she loves it. Now it will be out for the world to see. I think that's all I have right now. Hopefully have a more interesting week this week. Baby can come at any moment! See you at the weekend...possibly. Sunday, October 18, 2009And now over to Daniel I Russell for the weather. Daniel?![]() First off, I'd like to thank you, dear people, who read and follow this rambling blog. It's up to something like 373 followers at the mo, which in my eyes, ain't bad, so thank you. If you're not a follower on NetworkedBlogs, I think there's a fancy widget on the right of the page. You can make an antisocial horror writer very happy... This is currently the #3 horror blog thanks to you guys. BABY UPDATE I really thought it was the big day on Wednesday. We had an ultrasound. By we, I really mean Sherie. Guy wouldn't have seen much in my abdomen apart from a couple of coffees and a few squares of Cadbury's Rocky Road. I like it when I call the dude 'the ultrasound guy', as Sherie refers to him as the sonagrapher. When I ask what a sonagrapher does, the response I get is that he's the guy that does the ultrasound. Anyhoo... Wednesday, Sherie had contractions. This was in the middle of week 34, two weeks longer then she'd previously gone on for (Personal best! Whoohoo!). The ultrasound showed that she wasn't in labour BUT the sonagrapher (the ultrasound guy) said we HAD to see our doctor asap. Would he tell us why? No. Just kept replying, 'you need to speak to your doctor. He'll get my report on Friday.' After two nervous days, we finally got to speak with our doctor, who is a pleasant fella from South Africa. He's so apologetic when he has to examine Sherie. We always joke that he says 'I'm going to examine you now. By examining, I mean, I won't be raping you. Again, this is not a rape.' He read the report and...drumroll...everything is fine! That was it. Two days of frantic worrying to be told that everything is fine. Go figure. A few more days of minor contractions and things have gone back to normal. Still pregnant. THE SUN HAS GOT HIS HAT ON. HIP HIP HIP HOORAY! Which is bad for Sherie seeing that the good weather's finally here. It's early spring and the heat is in the mid eighties. Welcome to Australia, cobber! It's both good and bad. The birds can go outside, which is good because Tibby (green) keeps kicking Billy (blue). Seriously, that budgie has some full on kung-fu skills. Think I might film it and become one of those You Tube millionaires. Will keep me in Rocky Road and beer for a few weeks. The house smells of barbecue and suntan lotion, ie, of holidays! Hard to get into the swing of finishing the latest novel with the temptation of water fights, cold beers and NERF. Plus, the neighbours have half of town around everyday because they have an inflatable pool thing. Whenever one of us goes out in our garden, all these little kids climb the fence and look over. I'm still UK pasty (apart from the arms and face now) so wouldn't mind getting some sun on my milky white chest, but I'm not going to sunbathe with a good book with the Australian equivalent of The Goonies staring at me. It's like when you're on a bus and some little kid in front of you turns around and watches all the journey. Like that, yeah, but you have your shirt off (shudders). SO, DAN...HAVE YOU GOT ANY WRITING DONE AT ALL? Well a bit. Novel is up to 60k and I also took the time to write a bizarro short. The novel is really hotting up now with a lengthy finale. I just need to get stuck in. THE SAMHANE GIVEAWAY Went smoothly and was drawn by our resident dwarf clown as pictured above. If you missed it (and all winners have been notified), here's the list of names drawn: Tressa (Goodreads) Kody Boye (Facebook) Jamie Boyt (Facebook) John Wilson (Facebook) Stephen Maginis (Facebook) Selena Robbins (Facebook) Scott Colbert (Facebook) Todd Banks (Facebook) Dreadlocksmile (Goodreads) Juile (Goodreads) Congrats to the winners and hope you enjoy your read of Samhane. Hopefully there will be Goodreads reviews that will be linked in the very near future. I think that's my lot for now. Should see you all next week. Will the baby be here by now? Place your bets please... Friday, October 09, 2009Babies, writing and a bad joke about farts...
My parents went to Florida about ten years ago, and one of those big-ass hurricanes hit. While most people jumped in the car and headed inland, my fearless Limey parents, in true tourist fashion, decided to stick around and enjoy the pool...while it was empty. My parents brought back some eerie footage of the deserted beach, the deserted hotel and the slightest breeze... It captured the feeling of something vast coming. That's how I feel right now. Well, it's passed a bit. The day before yesterday, it was palpable. Back in the band days when I had a big gig in Manchester that night, I felt sick with butterflies all day. It felt like that all over again. When Sherie, who is very, very pregnant right now, started to feel a great deal of discomfort, I thought it was time. But no. We're still going and fast approaching week 34. Week 34 is good and only two days away. Week 34 should mean a birth in Bunbury (1 1/2 hours away) as opposed to Perth (3 1/2 hours away). We have another ultrasound next week as the doctor is a tad concerned. Baby might not be getting as much nutrients as it should, and this means bub is tiny. Not a dwarf, but still tiny. How can I deal with all this stress? By writing of course! WHIPPING THE WIP The Forgotten (previously The Attraction) has reached 55k this week, and is ready for the breakneck finale. It's going to be a roller coaster, literally. Thanks, as ever, to R. Scott McCoy who read the first 40k and then promptly bollocked me for keeping him hanging. He then bollocked me again when I considered putting the manuscript aside until after the baby is born. I think his words were NOOOOOOOOOO! I have a few short stories I need to crank out, so we'll see what happens. Here's a taster thus far, looking over the shoulder of our comic-creating protag, Carl Campbell: Carl added a little detail to the eyes and slid the tip of the pencil down her body. Tempted to plunge the lead through her black heart, he swallowed and continued down. To the thing crawling out of her, he added elongated claws that dripped sludge, and teeth, twisted in the creature’s mouth like a ball of barbed wire. Gore dripped from its lips, the cursed baby eating an exit from its harlot mother. Carl stared at his drawing, wishing for some kind of voodoo to infuse the lines and make them flesh. I guess I have babies on the mind. SHORT STORY NEWS It was confirmed that my subtle (for me) ghost story, Living Haunts, is to be included in the AHWA magazine, Midnight Echo 3. Details to pre order are here http://www.australianhorror.com/index.php?view=115. Some great news for someone as impatient as me is that my 14k short story, By the Banks of the Nabarra, has been moved. Instead of being in issue #47 of Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, it will now appear in issue #43! This means that rather than wait until August 2010, the story will be on shelves across Australia by Christmas. Means some cheap and personal gifts from me this year... The marvelous and BEST horror magazine, Necrotic Tissue, is now in its 8th issue, the proof of which is sitting on my shelf. The mag should be on its way to subscribers (you may have already got them). For details of how to buy individual issues or subscriptions (only $20 for a year) please visit www.necrotictissue.com. IT'S NEARLY HALLOWEEN...SO GET IN THE MOOD WITH A FREE EBOOK. There are currently 10 free downloads of Samhane going to the lucky winners of my Halloween draw, ending the 14th of October (gives you time to read it in the run up to the big day). Simply leave the message 'I want to visit Samhane' either here, in my Facebook inbox or my profile at www.goodreads.com to be in. Winners shall be drawn at random. I do have more to yak about, but have lots of things to do today. It's been a quite joke free blog this week (I'm saving it for the short I'm about to write) and also, not quite immature enough. That needs rectifying. See you next week... Joe was invited to dinner with his girlfriends parents.....a stern Yorkshire farmer and his wife..... Half way through the meal, as they were discussing his intentions towards their daughter, Joe feels an enormous fart coming on. He was unable to control it and the rasp could be heard all over the house. "Get out, Shep!" said the farmer to the sheepdog, who was lying under the table. Thank God, thought Joe. He thought it was the dog. About ten minutes later, Joe felt another build up of gas. Again, he could not muffle it, and an even louder fart ripped from his arse. "Get out, Shep" shouted the farmer at the dog who had crept back under the table. Again, after five more minutes Joe felt an even bigger build up and this time, he let go a real monster fart, which made the table shake. The farmer kicked the dog who was back under the table and shouted " For God's sake, Shep. Get out from under there before the bastard shits on you..." Groan, eh? Wednesday, September 23, 2009Not often I say this...a good day!
I'm a lazy bastard. Just to save time, I'm going to do a rare midweek blog, just to keep those who're interested up to date. Today was a day we've been lucky to see, yet, things have been a little on edge of late. Around 8 weeks ago, we thought we'd never see the final ultrasound, what with Sherie going into labour and us with a 50/50 chance of things going...well...badly. But here we are. There were still dangers though. At 28 weeks, our doctor believed we would be lucky to get through 3 more. The ultrasound today revealed that the amount of amniotic fluid is fine. Baby's position is fine. The blood flow is fine. The cervix is closed and not at a threatening thinness. All in all, everything is as we could have hoped, and we should get a few more weeks of pregnancy yet. Again. October 26th is the golden date we have to reach to avoid a trip to Perth, and for Sherie to have her friends and family around her. The day maintained a high standard after the ultrasound. We drove into Manjimup and paid the bills. A trip into the newsagent/bookshop revealed that Manjimup has Leisure Fiction! I bought Castaways by Brian Keene and The Golem by Edward Lee. Lovely stuff. Shame that a little research showed I could have got them cheaper online...from the UK! This is a result of the import restrictions that Aussie writers want to keep. Next, a bit of real Aussie hard work at the inlaws. By Aussie hard work, I mean something manual that you can do while drinking! My father in law and me were mulching up the trees the power company made them chop down after they started to interfere with the overhead cables. Was it sensible to operate a machine with a whirling circular blade while drinking tinnies? Well, I'm typing this quite fluidly, so I'm not missing any digits. Just been a lucky day, I guess. Next, back into town. You feel like a true parent while going through the ordeal of shoe shopping for the kids. At least the baby won't need shoes. For a while. I think all sales of Samhane are now going into the kids-need-shoes appeal. The kids being mine. And now I'm writing this while eating devilled pasta and meatlover pizza. What a brilliant day. The current WIP is now at 46k and cooking nicely. Just need to plan the next few chapters before work continues. Here's a snippet from the last chapter: He stared at Dallas, wishing the old cocksucking Texan might suddenly drop dead; a heart attack brought on from too much steak and beer, y’all. Nothing personal against Texans. It's just characterisation! See you at the weekend.
Saturday, September 19, 2009Albino Lesbians, et al![]() I'm going to get a t shirt made up for Sherie that simply reads: Just cos I'm pregnant, doesn't mean you can touch me. Yes, more pregnancy woes. Well, not exactly woes, as things are going pretty damn well. The doctor has changed his mind AGAIN and now thinks we will reach 36 weeks...maybe. Sherie is in that lovely, glowing, heavily pregnant stage, and requires help to get in and out of chairs, etc. We all knew this was coming. It's quite funny to watch, actually. But people keep coming up to her, asking how long now and then feeling her up! Yes, it's a circle of the baby bump and not cupping her breasts, but still! Who are these random people? RANDOMNESS We saw a sweet, little old lady walking down the street brandishing a massive axe. True story. SLEAZE! The cover for Tabloid Terrors #3: Alien Perverts Wrecked my Pubes has been released by Skull Vines Press this week (pictured above), now with Albino Lesbians! That would be my nasty little piece. For all those Facebook users who were desperate for a taste (injoke there) of my alien lesbian orgy, it's nearly time to dip your hands in those deep pockets and grab yourself a copy. Also featuring Louise Bohmer. L.L. Soares and the series creators S.D. Hintz and Jerrod Balzer, this is some pretty sick shit. Buy it and love! AND ALSO... Midnight Echoes #3 (what is it with threes? Three is the magic number for my writing career. Blessed be...) bought my old story Living Haunts (Retitled from The Building by the Railway). An offering that's a little different from my normal style: subtle and humour free. Follows a young boy who, hearing there's a dirty magazine in an abandoned railway shed, slips through the fence and ventures in, but the building harbours ghosts...ghosts of the living. Bobby is about to learn that his nice little town isn't so nice in the dark, lonely places. Look out for this (available through the Australian Horror Writers' Association) in the coming weeks. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY...OR IS IT? The horror writing industry. It can be a great community to be in at times...at other times...it's tough. Damn tough. And it's all about the money. I've been in many discussions over writing money over the years (money for writing. Not writing money itself. There's a lucrative, if not illegal, career). Basically, if your writing CV contains a long list of publications that were exposure or a token payment only, no one is going to give a good goddamn. Money talks in this business. The HWA supports this stance, demanding certain monetary targets be reached before membership can be granted. This keeps membership selective. Fair enough. They also believe that if you're good enough, you deserve to be paid for the work you've put in. Again, fair enough. I couldn't agree more. However... Global financial crisis and all that jazz. I was in talks with the AHWA over the above sale. I'm getting paid 1 cent per word for the story (thank you please) yet am not receiving a contributor's copy. Should I want the mag on my shelf (and it's one of the best bits of being a writer) then my payment will take a cut. They said that money being money, they cannot afford to pay the writers and give out a contrib. They'd rather, for the writer, pay them and give them a pdf copy and be able to afford to keep the mag going. Again...fair enough. I agree that this is the best course of action. There are precious little regular markets out there. The last thing I want to see is a reputable market go under. Yet as a writer, I don't like the idea of paying to see my own work in print. I see the arguments, and agree, with both sides, what with being a writer, and working for Necrotic Tissue magazine. At our meetings, we don't just discuss your great stories, we also need to talk subscriptions and money flow. I have an idea of how tough and competitive this business is. For a long time, I have condemned magazines that don't pay the writer or pay a mere $5 or $10 and then expect them to pay out for a shitty Lulu made product to see their own work. The editors, who usually have no experience and couldn't write their way out of a high school short story contest, are making money off YOU, your friends and family, dear writer. This is almost a scam. They are making money for doing very, very little. In some cases, accepting any old shite and not even editing it. It takes minutes to upload something to Lulu. Seems to me that the more reputable markets don't make any money at all, choosing to raise pay rates or give out more copies to contributors. Yet with the AHWA, they are reputable, so I know this is no scam. It's just a shame. This has been a very jumbled argument, has it not? Another money issue is that I've been asked to appear in an antho (if the subbed stories cut the mustard). Problem is, this will not pay the self-imposed threshold that I aim for. I'll effectively be choosing to take a pay cut. Other writers may look down on this. No up front pay? That's not even a sale! So why am I doing this? And also, why am I quite excited about this? Because the heart is there, folks. The editor is as good-hearted as they come. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. So you won't be getting 5 cents a word. So what? I'd rather get a royalty and have this book in brick and motar stores throughout the midwest and have it reviewed and READ. That's the point for me. This is going to get lots of reads, and I'll willingly sacrifice a few dollars for that. I can climb off my high horse for some things (chuckles). SELL OUT? And on the same topic...ish. I've noticed that the higher paying markets tend to publish literary horror. That is so not my style (refer to Aliens and Pubes above). To get those big names on my CV, do I have to sell out? Drop my violence and banter and gore and go for something...artier? Hmmm. One to mull over. Current novel at 41k, and I'm seeing it through to the end before I write any new shorts. Time to think about the direction of the next batch. QUOTES Me (while Mason is dancing and NOT eating his tea): Mason! No one is in the mood for silliness! Amity (raises hand): I am! Sherie: I can pick on you. It's great! Random stranger walking down the street: How long now? (Feels Sherie's baby bump) Me: Where's a sweet old lady brandishing an axe when you need one? See you next week. Please leave angry comments telling me how wrong I am until them. Oh, and thank you yet again to the Facebook users following this blog on Networked blogs. It's now #3 in the horror charts and has nearly 300 followers. Thank you from the bottom of my black, festering heart. I now feel popular and it makes up for my experiences in High School. Tuesday, September 08, 2009Marketing experiment, or a test of my story telling skills.![]() After a good week of a new clown t shirt (thank you my better half), budgie called Tibby and those lovely teaching dollars now coming in, I'm a happy writer bloke once more. And following a conversation on Facebook with the editor of Tales from the Cauldron, Rhiannon, thought I'd run this (free) marketing experiment. The premise is simple. Here, for the first time, is the full opening to my novel Samhane. I've thrown a few juicy snippets around before, but never so much meat. I would be honoured if you took a few minutes out of your day to indulge in a little violence...a little dark secrecy. Take my hand while I take you to Samhane. Don't look so worried! We aren't going all the way, just down the path a ways. My question is...do you want to go all the way after this? With new books on the way, any feedback as to my half-arsed marketing attempts are greatly appreciated! If you buy a copy of Samhane (only $5.95 from www.wildchildpublishing.com or www.fictionwise.com for you gadget users), please let me know! If you're even considering purchasing a copy, please, let me know! If you think this sucks and believe I should quit writing altogether, please let me know you cold hearted bastard! Oh and before I forget, quotes this week (so far): "And I said to her, your hair is the jizz." A teacher relaying a story of her attempt at 'street talk'. Student 1: Sir, I don't have a pen. Me: Then ask one of your colleagues for one. Student 1: Colleagues? What does that mean? Student 2: It means the people you work with. Student 1: Where did you learn all these fancy words, Sir? Anyhoooo..... Prologue The phone appeared tiny in his hand, like a smooth black pebble nestled in his palm. It vibrated and released a quiet, music-box jingle. He flicked open the cover. The screen glowed emerald, and the word BOSS flashed in luminescent blue. He pressed the answer button and held the phone to his ear. “Speak up,” he hollered. “Things are a little loud here.” One finger plugged in his other ear did little to block out the music booming from the speakers of the DJ booth, or the hustle and chat of drinkers gathered around the tables and bar. He strained to hear his employer. A girl sitting nearby laughed and drowned out the soft-spoken voice from the phone. “I’m sorry. Can you say that again?” “Really, Demon. You expect me to shout?” He swallowed. “No, Mr. Belvedere. Not at all. My apologies.” “Better, Demon.” “Sir? Why are you calling me Demon?” “Because we’re talking on the phone. If we were in the office, things would be different. For now, we must be careful. You especially.” Demon sighed. “Yes, sir.” “Down to business. The subscribers grow restless. They need another one, if you catch my drift.” Demon grinned. “I’m one step ahead, sir. That’s why I’m in a dive like this.” A young man edged past; his hands clamped a cluster of drinks. Tongue poking out of his mouth, he stared at the full glasses in concentration. Demon thought how fun it would be to stick out a leg or even knock the glasses from his hands. He stepped back and allowed the guy to pass. The less attention he drew, the better. The man walked on with the care of a tightrope walker. The bar ran the length of the room. Every inch bustled with customers. The tavern staff darted between customer and pump, chiller and cash register, sweat shiny on their faces. Imagine doing that for a living. One should enjoy their job. I do. Demon laughed. “What was that?” “Nothing, sir. The cattle market is full tonight. It won’t be a problem to find a participant.” “Very good. I knew you wouldn’t disappoint.” His boss’s voice travelled from the phone warbled and distorted, like he called from the bottom of the sea or another world. Probably electric interference to blame, but with his employer…. “Demon! Are you there?” “Yes, sir.” “Stop dallying and proceed. I’ll be online later, waiting. Don’t let the Order down. You were promoted for a reason.” Demon rolled his eyes. “Yes, sir, I know. Mr. Belvedere?” He pulled the phone away from his ear. The screen indicated his boss had hung up. About to curse, Demon thought better of it and closed his mouth. He replaced the phone in his trouser pocket and picked up his drink. With the lack of a chair, he leaned back against his high table. The wood tilted with the weight. The DJ’s voice bellowed out of the speakers, volume loud enough to muffle the words. Demon thought of Belvedere at home in his mansion and wished for the same kind of evening, instead of waiting here in this over-priced, over-filled bar. His boss might be sat listening to some Mozart, a fine glass of wine in his hand. In the bar, most of the inhabitants looked half Demon’s age, and he hadn’t recognised one song. “The sooner I start, the sooner I finish,” he said under his breath. He finished the remnants of his cheap wine and grimaced. “This had better not be a waste of time.” He laughed at himself. It had never been a waste of time. Demon walked around the corner of the bar. Other patrons, even a few guys with swollen muscles and tattoos, moved to the side. Sometimes he forgot about his size and that he needed a little extra room. The slim days of his youth had well and truly finished. Indulgence takes a hard toll, and he had indulged more than most. His hanging belly swayed beneath his shirt. At the back wall, he spied a man in a black shirt. Across from him sat a girl drinking through a straw. The man cast crafty peeks at her chest. She watched him over the rim of her glass, glancing at his body every so often. Her tight pink blouse and black miniskirt accentuated her curves, and her dark hair curled to her shoulders. She placed the drink on the table and stirred the ice cubes with the straw. Slim, good looking, young. She looks about eighteen. They’ll enjoy that. She leaned towards the man and whispered something in his ear. The guy threw back his head in laughter. She smiled, her pixie features magnificent. She’s the one. They’ll get a treat tonight! Demon straightened his tie and held his head up. He walked between the other customers, who again moved out of his path, and approached the table. “Excuse me,” he said and rested his hand on the only vacant chair. “Is anyone sitting here?” Demon relished the way the girl’s eyes widened at his huge form. His weight tended to put women off, but on occasion he had met girls, some as young as this little beauty, who liked a more robust man. More to ride, he supposed. “I don’t think so, mate,” the guy replied and gestured at the chair. “You can take it.” Demon nodded. “I sure will. Thank you.” He pulled out the chair and sat at the table. The guy’s mouth skewed, and he cast the girl a side-glance. Game on, my friend. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Demon said, his tone sincere. He wanted to laugh at this man’s crippling disappointment. “I’m not interrupting, am I?” “Well, actually—” Demon raised his hand. “I’m sorry, friend. Shouldn’t the lady answer?” He flashed the girl a warm smile and winked. “That’s what a gentleman would do. Don’t you agree?” The man rapped his fingers on the table in either boredom or frustration. Demon guessed the latter. “Well,” the girl said. “We have just met….” She stopped playing with her drink and studied the tabletop. Did I rush in too quick? Nonsense. Let’s turn this baby around. He glanced between the pair. “I am genuinely sorry, guys. Let me buy you both a drink to make up for my rudeness and then I’ll leave you alone. I’m new to town and just trying to meet people, you see.” He reached into his trousers for his wallet. “I’m sorry,” the girl said. “I hope you understand.” Demon waved the concern away. “Perfectly fine.” He slipped out a fifty-pound note and laid it on the table. “Anything you want, doll-face, and something for your friend too.” He licked his lips. “Would you mind going to the bar, though? A man of my size has…difficulty getting through the crowds. I’m sure a slim thing like you can slip through with ease.” Her companion’s eyes narrowed, and his mouth squeezed into a straight line. “Would a gentleman ask a lady to fetch drinks?” the guy asked and raised an eyebrow. Demon smirked. “If you’d prefer to go, be my guest. You won’t mind if I keep the lovely…the lovely…?” “Oh,” the girl said and blushed. “I’m Lucy. This is Demon nodded. “I’m….” Think, think, think. “Bob. You won’t mind if I keep the lovely Lucy company, will you, Demon stared at him—hard. “Fellas, let’s not get weird.” Lucy reached for the money. “Another pint?” “You don’t need him to buy you a drink,” “No.” Demon kept his gaze locked on the punk. “I insist. Nothing for me though, thanks. I’ll be leaving soon.” Lucy scooped up the money and headed towards the bar with a slight wiggle of her hips. “Quite a girl,” Demon said. “Quite a girl, indeed.” “I suppose.” “You two an item?” “What?” “You two…going out?” “Like she said, we just met,” Demon sensed the reluctance in his voice. Tough shit, pal. She’s mine. He shook his head and whistled through his teeth. “What a lot of trouble she’s in. Dear little Lucy Lewis.” Demon waited for “What’s she done?” asked Just as I thought. He doesn’t know anything about her. “What is it every time?” Demon shrugged. “Drugs. She owes a lot of money, “Jesus! Her? Drugs?” Demon nodded. “Obviously, if you choose to stay with her, I’ll have to bring you along too. You have a think about that.” The world loves a coward. “Where did Lucy placed the drinks—some kind of dark cocktail and a pint of lager—on the table. “Erm…something about an emergency. He was on his phone. Says he’s sorry.” Lucy settled into her chair and handed him the change. “Typical. At least he did it early. Better than getting my hopes up before ditching me.” She sipped her drink. “By the way, thanks for the cocktail.” “You’re welcome. I don’t know why he left, but he was a fool.” Lucy sighed and sagged in her chair. “Cheer up. He seemed an arsehole anyway. He was awfully protective. You don’t need that on the first night.” “Yeah,” Lucy said. “I thought the same thing.” “You want to have fun. You’re a fun girl, aren’t you?” Lucy glanced up and laughed. Ice cubes bobbed in her drink. She poked them with her straw. That look. Just like she did with “The thing is, Lucy, young men don’t know what they want. They think with their cocks.” He loved the way her mouth opened in shock before rising to a naughty smile. “All that’s on their mind is sex, sex, sex. Maybe He paused to let his words sink in. “Now, if you looked for a more mature gentleman, someone with more experience, I’m sure things would turn out different.” “A more mature man, eh?” She ran a fingertip around the edge of her glass. “Someone like you, I suppose?” “You could do a lot worse,” he said and raised his eyebrows. “How about we stay here, drink all night and see what happens. You might enjoy it.” Lucy cocked her head to the side. “Yeah? Why not. You can’t be any more of an arsehole than Demon chuckled and raised his glass. “To arseholes and a great night to come!” “To arseholes and a great night!” she said. And what a night it will be, Lucy. What a night it will be. * * * * In the taxi, Demon slid his arm along the backseat and around Lucy’s shoulders. He paused to gauge her reaction at the first touch. From experience, he knew things were never guaranteed and patience was a virtue. Once inside—if he could get her inside—his plans would work out. Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey. He almost laughed at the old saying. After all, he had caught a lot of monkeys in his time…. Lucy laid her head back against his arm and leaned in for a kiss. Demon’s confidence surged. He closed his eyes and found her mouth by her breath on his face. Her perfume blossomed in his nose. He inhaled deeply. Delicious. The hand behind his head pulled him in tighter. He slipped his tongue against her lips. She welcomed it inside her mouth. After a few minutes exploring the contours beneath her pink top, Demon broke away. Lucy sat back, her hunger for him raging in her eyes. She panted. Her apparent desperation drove Demon crazy, and his trousers grew tight. Not yet. There’s still work to be done. He leaned towards the driver of the cab. “Change of plan, mate,” he said. He gave his own address, and the driver nodded. Demon leaned back. Lucy’s gaze locked on him. She slowly dragged her tongue across her lips. She’s holding back. She knows and she’s up for it. Dirty girl. They spent the rest of the journey in silence. Demon traced circles on her bare leg just below the hem of her skirt. The cab parked in front of his house. Demon swung the door open before the car stopped. He walked around and opened Lucy’s side. She slid out like an actress arriving at an Oscar’s ceremony. “Mister,” the driver said through his open window. “I have another call. You pay.” “Indeed,” said Demon, his tone low. Lucy gazed at the house. “This it?” Demon nodded and removed his wallet. Adding a little extra to the fare, he paid the driver. “Thank you. You folk have a nice night,” said the driver. “I assure you, we will.” The cab eased away. Lucy had made it half way along the garden path. She staggered, the alcohol she’d consumed defeating her for a second. With a finger, she beckoned him. His cock twitched and pressed against the fabric of his trousers again. Soon. Just get her inside and then you can get inside her. Demon caught up with her and spun her around, kissing her on the lips before removing his keys from his pocket. He unlocked the door and nudged it wide to reveal a dark hallway. Lucy stepped past him. This will be a classic. He entered the house. Lucy snaked her arms around his waist and tugged him backwards, moving around his body until she pressed against his front and kissed him. He moaned. She pulled away from his mouth, leaving a trail of warm saliva across his cheek. “Bob,” she groaned. “Bob, mmmm…. Let’s go upstairs.” He smiled in the darkness. “No. The lounge. It’s closer. We can use the sofa.” “Okay,” she whispered and stepped away from him. Demon slid his hand against the wall and found the door to the lounge. He turned the handle and vanished into the darkness. “Bob?” “Hang on,” he said. “I’m just finding the light switch.” He waited in the shadows, attention locked on the curtains at the front of the room. Light from the street gave the curtains a slight golden glow. “Come on in,” he purred. “I’ll find it in a second.” He listened to her soft footsteps on the carpet and imagined her paused in the doorway. “I can’t find you. I don’t want to bump into anything.” Demon grinned. The almost sexual arrogance in her voice had slipped away and revealed a nervous teenager lost the dark. “I’m over here.” “Where?” She staggered further into the room, her outline perfectly defined against the curtain. Demon stepped forwards and slammed his fist into the side of her face. Lucy’s head snapped back, and she dropped to the floor. Demon leapt over her and flicked on a switch. Clutching her cheek, Lucy blinked in the sudden light. Her eyes widened at the sight of him, and she kicked backwards across the carpet. He jumped on her, and she cowered. “What…what are you doing?” He grabbed a fistful of her pink top and, with one strong pull, tore it free. Her back rose and fell as the fabric ripped. With the garment thrown to one side, Demon wrestled her skirt down her kicking legs and knocked her shoes off. He stared at her, teeth clenched. His chest swelled and fell with the effort of the struggle. With a lacy black bra and thong remaining, Lucy attempted to cover herself with her hands. “Nice underwear. I thought you looked like a whore the first time I set eyes on your cute little body.” He bent closer, bringing his face inches away from hers. “They’ll love you, oh, yes.” She screamed again, but a swift kick in the ribs reduced her cries to a choked splutter. Demon peeled off his tie and let it flutter to the carpet. He gazed from her chest to her groin. “Welcome to the Order,” he growled. The toe of his shoe caught her under the chin. Part One Ghoulish Occupations Chapter One Footsteps sounded on the wooden floor of the decking outside, each step bringing the creature closer to her kitchen. Her heart beat frantically, and her breath came in quick, shallow gasps. Sitting in the lounge, she gripped a pillow to her heaving chest. The footsteps stopped. She rose from the sofa, letting the pillow fall beside her bare feet. Her white nightgown flowed behind her. She slowly approached the door. The doorknob turned. Suddenly— Donald switched on the table lamp next to his keyboard. The sun had set a long time ago, and the glare of his monitor induced a headache. Despite his fiancée’s constant warnings about his eyes going square, he’d been writing since morning. Already a third of the way through his first novel, he needed to get the thing finished. He leaned back in his office chair and spun around. Fresh out of the shower, Donald faced his desk and looked at the screen. He hated writer’s block. Many magazines and anthologies had been interested in his short stories, but he wanted to write novels. Novels made you rich and famous, not the occasional pulp magazine article. Novels were a lot harder to write than short stories. Short stories seemed to Donald like five minutes of sex in the backseat of a car. No pressure, just hammer it out. Novels? A different ball game: the equivalent of a ten-hour sex session. It needed twists and turns and the positions of the characters changing on a regular basis. Most important, a novel needed to last. Thinking about cricket would not get him through his book. In fact, it rarely got him past twenty minutes between the sheets. “Don?” Bev called. “Yeah, hun?” “How’s it coming? You seem a little…distracted.” Donald sighed. “I just feel I’m writing a big pile of complete shit. It reads too fast. It might be because I wrote it and know what’s going to happen, but I just don’t know.” “Want me to take a look?” He shook his head. “You’ll say it’s good even if it’s not. The whole ‘you being in love with me’ thing will cloud your artistic judgement.” On the television, a teenage actress squeezed out a baby on screen, overacting and making the noise of a cat in pain. Babies. Maybe the creature can have a baby…. “I know you’re trying to write, but shouldn’t you check your bid? It’s been a while,” said Bev, her gaze stuck on the TV screen. His bid! He returned to the computer and grabbed his mouse to minimise the faltering story. The colourful website for eBay lay behind it. In a vain attempt to improve his writing skills, Donald had toyed with the idea of buying a laptop computer. He could write wherever he needed: his lunch hour at work, on holiday, even in bed, although Bev had shown resentment to that idea. The online auction site seemed the best way to buy a laptop without paying too much. He clicked on the RECENT BIDS tab. A message on a light blue screen greeted him. Congratulations, don4860! You were the highest bidder! Your details have been passed on, and the seller will contact you in due course with payment details. Thank you for using eBay! With another click, Donald’s story reappeared on screen. “Hey, Bev, I won!” Donald called over his shoulder. He pulled a sheet of paper from the feed tray of the printer. He had little faith in his computer. Even the slightest power surge made the aging system go haywire. It worried Donald, storing hundreds of pages of manuscript on the temperamental thing. He had a back-up disk, of course, and a back-up for the back-up. And Bev says I worry too much…. His hand drifted over the various items scattered by his computer for inspiration: a fake severed finger, a candle, a rat’s brain in a jar (preserved in eighty-three, and one of the strangest gifts ever) and a small model bomb with a big grin and wobbling eyes. Bev also had a talent in finding odd presents. For the thousandth time, he read the caption underneath: You light my fuse. He grinned, removed a pen from a desk tidy and copied the details of his eBay win. “Great. How much did you bid in the end?” Bev asked. “£124, but I need £20 for the postage and packing.” Bev’s arms slid around his neck. She smelt of vanilla. “Does this mean I’m going to lose more time with my boyfriend because of another silly computer?” She kissed the top of his head. Her damp hair hung on the sides of his face in red curtains. “Well, if you want your boyfriend to be rich and famous and buy you lots of expensive gifts and fancy holidays, you have to give him time to create.” “I suppose with a best-selling author’s royalty cheques coming in, I could plan a really fancy wedding. You know any single, successful writers?” “So the wedding we’ve planned isn’t fancy enough?” asked Donald. “It’s in October. How can you have a fancy wedding in October? It’ll rain, I just know it.” “I told you to wait until next summer, but you wanted it sooner. You know what your problem is?” “What?” “You’re too…impetuous.” “What does that mean?” “It means rash, dear.” She grinned. “Smart arse. You should save your fancy vocab for your book. It’s wasted on me.” Bev fell quiet. She read his story. “Not exactly Shakespeare is it?” she said a few moments later. “Another young damsel in peril from the forces of evil?” “The story’s not supposed to make you think, sweetheart. I don’t plan on having school kids forced to study this.” He gazed at his story. “I would like them to think it’s cool, though. Maybe if the girl gets decapitated….” He tipped his head back. Bev kissed him. “You coming to bed?” she asked. Her mouth curled into a mischievous grin. “Not yet, dear, I’m sorry. The guy will be contacting me soon with the payment details, and I don’t want to miss it.” She groaned. “Laptop one, girlfriend nil, and you haven’t even bought it yet,” she muttered. She straightened and playfully tapped him on the head. She walked into the kitchen, bare feet slapping on the black and white linoleum. Her bum swayed under the flimsy fabric of her dressing gown. Their relationship never ceased to surprise Donald. After meeting in their final years of university, where Bev had done her training to become a primary school teacher and he had studied chemistry, the two of them had gone out for years before becoming engaged and moving in together. She still turned him on, regardless of their familiarity, and he knew she felt the same way about him. He wanted to switch off the computer, stride into the kitchen, wrap his arms around her and hold her close against his body. There’s time for that later. I need to get more written. Donald brought his story back up on screen. He didn’t like the idea of spending money on a new computer and not using it. The prose needed to flow again. Now what could happen to his vulnerable heroine after the perverted creature entered her back door? * * * * Twenty minutes later, the phone rang. Startled, Donald jumped in his chair and laughed at himself. Half an hour ago, Bev had turned off the television and gone to bed, leaving him to work alone in the dark. Most likely she’d be watching yet another dull soap in bed, and Don hoped the programme would be over when he retired upstairs. He walked to the lounge and picked up the phone. “Hello?” “Hi, is this Mr…D. Patterson?” a loud male voice asked. “Speaking.” “I’m Roger Newby. You recently won a laptop from me on eBay?” “Yeah! I was expecting an email.” “I’m rather pressed for time, so I thought this would be quicker. You don’t mind, do you?” “No,” Donald said. “Not at all.” “I just need to give you my address to send the cheque.” “That’s fine. I’ll just grab a pen and paper.” Donald hurried over to his desk and pulled a piece of paper from the printer. “Right then. Fire away.” “Again, the name is Roger Newby. That’s N-E-W-B-Y, “Langston?” “Yeah?” “That’s where I live!” “Really?” replied Roger. “Where abouts?” “ Roger chuckled. “I know the house. Near the newsagents, isn’t it? Small world. I knew you would be close because of the area code on your phone number, but the same town? Incredible.” “I don’t suppose I could pick the laptop up myself? It would save you the bother of packing and sending it.” And save me twenty quid. “That’d be fine,” Roger agreed. “Are you free tomorrow?” “I’m at work, but I could call during my dinner hour.” “Great. I’ll see you tomorrow.” * * * * “Did you get your computer thing sorted?” Bev asked. Donald crawled into bed beside her and tugged the duvet over his body. “The laptop? Yeah, the guy phoned and said I can pick it up tomorrow.” “In person?” “He lives here in Langston on “I’ll say.” Bev grabbed the remote control and flicked off the television. “You should get some sleep, honey. It’s late, and you have work in the morning.” “Yeah, unlike these lazy teachers with the whole summer off. They can stay up all night if they want to.” Smacking his naked leg under the duvet, Bev rolled over and looked into his eyes. He entwined his fingers with hers. “Thanks for putting up with me.” Bev laughed. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” “You know, letting me follow my dream and everything. I know it can’t be easy spending so little time together. I mean, when I’m home I’m typing and….” Her mouth upon his silenced him, and he groaned in pleasure. Her tongue flicked over his lips, entered his mouth and duelled with his own. Using his free hand, he raked his fingers through her long hair. Bev tilted her head back at his touch, allowing access to her neck. Delicate kisses fell from his lips to caress her ear lobe, her skin—a soft, delicate playground for him alone. Releasing her hand, Donald pulled his t-shirt over his head and helped Bev hitch her nightgown up her body and over her arms. He tossed their garments at the foot of the bed. She spread her legs, and Donald ran a finger upwards across her labium. The flesh parted, already wet and inviting, juicy and swollen. He leaned over and kissed the silky flesh of her stomach, the warm softness of her skin tasting a little of the vanilla bath gel she’d showered with. She giggled and arched her back, eager for him. Circling her navel with his tongue, he paused and gently sucked it. A startled gasp escaped Bev, and she wiggled, impatient. He closed his eyes and moved lower to her mound. The deep, musky smell of her sex blossomed, and she stroked his head, her sighs of contentment reaching him. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “I love you. It’s all that matters.” He ventured further downwards, and Bev moaned. Chapter Two Sam opened his eyes and scanned the dim bedroom. The dark shapes of boxes left over from unpacking lay about; shadows stretched across the carpet and seemed to reach for his bed. Sam spent a few seconds searching for any sign of motion. A cool breeze entered through an open window. At the other window on the opposite side of the room, the curtain hung limp. The glow of the streetlight shone through. Raindrops hit the glass and pattered on the road. Sam inhaled the freshness of the summer night. He lay in bed and pulled his Spiderman sheets closer to his body. In the dark, the hypnotic music of the falling water lulled him back to sleep. Splash. Sam’s eyes popped open, and he glanced towards the open window. Splash. It sounded like footsteps in puddles. Heavy boots hitting the water. Sam imagined the rain running down the street in a river. Who would be out in the middle of the night? And in a storm too? He abandoned the warm comfort of his bed to investigate. Splash. Sam approached the open window and slid back the curtain. He gasped. Through the hazy blur, a tall, naked figure walked along the street. It lurched to a stop at the front of the house. The glow from the lights reflected off the creature’s glistening hide, the creamy white of a mushroom. Its body stood whip thin. Sam thought of a skeleton wrapped in a tight skin. Rain dripped from the tips of its lank, white hair. Large, clawed feet slapped the wet ground with each step. The creature swung its head in Sam’s direction. He dove away from the window and pressed his back against the cool wall. His heart hammered. After a deep breath, he ran from the wall to the sanctuary of his bed. He dragged the sheets over his head and waited. The seconds became minutes, and Sam’s breathing slowed to normal. Did it see me? He knew he couldn’t return to sleep if that…that thing stayed out there. With all his courage, he threw back the sheet and walked to the window again. His legs shook and threatened to give way at any moment. He peeled back the curtain. In the front yard, the thing gazed at his bedroom window. At him. Afraid to scream, Sam bolted back to his bed, the sheets once again a monster shield. A cold sweat soaked his skin and chilled him. His pyjamas clung to his back and legs. If I stay in bed, maybe it won’t come after me. It can’t get into the house without waking Dad. If it can’t see me, it might go away. Tap. Sam’s breath caught in his throat. Tap. At the closed window, a thin hand with long, extended fingers hung there, shadowed on the curtain. The thick nail of the forefinger struck the glass. Tap. The hand slid away, fingernails scratching the brick. Sam leapt from his bed, intent on reaching the open window before it did. Sweeping back the curtain, he swung the window shut and hammered closed the lock with his fist. Its face filled the window, inches from Sam’s. Large eyes blinked out heavy drops of water and studied Sam. The mouth pulled back in the smile of a skull. Teeth, so thin they resembled needles, clicked against each other. The creature hissed with frustration. Sam backed away from the window. The creature scurried upwards. Sam strained to detect any sign of the creature’s whereabouts. His heart climbed a gear at the sound of footsteps above him. The floorboards creaked, followed by a muffled crash. It’s inside the attic. Panicked, Sam ran out of his bedroom and across the landing towards his father’s room. His feet skidded to a halt on the landing. The attic hatch, halfway along the ceiling, shook in its frame. His father’s room lay further along the hall. Sam stopped and listened. The voice of his father drifted through his head. Don’t ever go into an attic alone. No matter what the situation, never, ever go in without someone. The creature hissed on the other side of the hatch. Sam ran. His outstretched hands hit his father’s door and swung it open. Faint snores issued from the bulk beneath the bed sheets. “Dad!” he cried, shaking him by the shoulder. His father didn’t respond, and, for a moment, Sam feared the creature had already done its worst. “Dad! Wake up. It’s here!” His dad rolled over and barely opened his eyes. “What’s up, Sam? Can’t a guy get his beauty sleep?” He rubbed the thick stubble on his chin and yawned. “The creature! It’s in the house,” Sam whispered. He struggled to tug his father out of bed by his arm. His dad sat up and held Sam’s arms. “Whoa! Hold on a second. We’ve been through this before. Remember?” Sam looked into his father’s deep brown eyes and nodded. The left eye, marred by a scar running from the forehead to the bottom of the cheek, had something dark brown in the corner. His father rubbed it away and yawned again. “I know you’re scared, but there’s only one way to get over this fear. I want you to go back to bed and be brave. Creatures can’t harm a big, brave boy, can they?” Sam offered a nervous smile and nodded again. “Come here, son. Give your old man a hug.” Large arms surrounded Sam. He loved the musky smell of his father. It always made him feel safe. Too soon, the hug ended. His dad held him by the arms. “Come on then, son. Back to bed with you. And remember, if you’re brave, everything will turn out fine.” Sam climbed off the bed and approached the doorway. He glanced at the attic hatch. “I love you, Dad.” “I love you too, son.” Sam made a dash for his room. Passing underneath, he swept a cursory eye over the attic hatch. It seemed knocked out of place, but closed. Certain the creature had not escaped, he carried on into his bedroom. Back in his bed, Sam clutched the sheets to his chin. His gaze lingered on the open bedroom door. He wept in the dark and hoped neither the creature nor his dad would hear. The fear of letting his father down seemed almost as bad as being eaten. No further scratches or hissing added weight to his hopes the creature had gone. Lack of sleep eventually crept up on Sam, and his eyelids grew heavy. Hissssssssssss…. Sam rolled over and sucked in a sharp breath, wide awake in an instant. The closet slowly creaked open. Long white fingers curled around the wood, the nails leaving white scratches on the paintwork. The door eased wider. Yellow eyes peered out and, a second later, the creature crept from the closet. It tiptoed across the carpet towards him. Sam’s body snapped rigid, tight with terror. It loomed over him, stick-thin arms outstretched. Teeth clicked in a frenzy, and a string of saliva dangled from its thin lips. Hissssssssss…. Sam screamed. The creature screamed too, and its hands shot to the back of its head. It fell to the floor, revealing Sam’s dad behind it, baseball bat in the air for another swing. His dad caught the haggard torso in the ribs. Fragile bones shattered. The thing wailed in agony, body convulsing. “Hit it again, Dad!” His dad raised the bat over his head and swung it onto the front of the creature’s skull. After a good few hits, its twitching stopped. Sam’s dad rolled the beast over with his foot. It flopped onto its back, spread-eagled. A dark puddle on the carpet expanded behind its head. “Now then, son,” his dad said, calmly wiping blood off the bat with the edge of his dressing gown, “what is that?” Sam climbed off the bed and crouched next to the creature. He studied its contorted face in greater detail. “ “Well done.” He ruffled his son’s hair and beamed with fatherly pride. He kicked off his slippers and threw them to the other side of the room, away from the pool of blood. “Ignore the carpet stains,” he said and scratched his head while he studied the dark mess. “I know it’s been an exciting night for you, but I want you to try and get some sleep. We leave for home tomorrow. You know how your grandmother overreacts when we’re away for too long. We’ll get our money for this little job on the way.” “I’ll try.” Sam jumped into bed, pulling the sheets—thankfully still clean—from the floor. “I’d better go and get some bin liners.” “Goodnight, Dad.” “Goodnight, son. We’ll make a monster hunter of you yet.” He grabbed the ankle of the ghoul corpse and headed for the door. The body left a long red trail across the bedroom. Saturday, September 05, 2009Meh![]() Blog attempt 2 (the last one somehow became a random spiral of bitterness, so was deleted. If only the human psyche was as easy to control as this here blogger dashboard...) It has been the craziest week here at Manji Towers. The roller coaster was open for business with no height or weight restrictions, unlike the Disney/Alton Tower Nazis. The beginning of the week was the dip. So so low. Bad things happening. Bills all came in at once (including the phone bill from the period of Sherie's hospital stay). Our boy needs extensive dental surgery. In the words of the womanising ginger, money was , indeed, too tight to mention. The work wasn't coming in either. Things could not have been worse. We found out otherwise when the car broke down. Sigh. So what became of black Sunday/Monday/Tuesday? WONDEROUS WEDNESDAY The first bit of good news was an email from Library of the Living Dead Press. Editor Rhiannon Frater has chosen my WWII story, A Picture Tells, for the upcoming witch-themed antho, Tales From the Cauldron. Chuffed over this one because: a) WWII? What the hell do I know about WWII that isn't from Blackadder Goes Forth? I had to research and this was the first time I've had a proper go at writing horror in a completely different setting. I like the current time and place. I like to mention eBay and iPods and other things with oDd cApitalisation. I guess the research paid off. and b) I wrote this story specifically for this anthology. That's a gamble, because a rejection hurts all the more. Also, with a themed antho, you tend to see a flurry of that theme submitted to other publications straight after (ie, the rejections or those that failed to make the deadline). So it's a harder sell after writing to a set theme. Currently waiting for the cover to post for this and a final contents list. Watch this space. WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION (well, obviously you do, because of that negative confusion there) *Author's note: Apologies to R. Scott McCoy and Zombie Zack for having a pop at the 'Floyd. After 6 long, frustrating months of being caught in red tape, I finally got the call I wanted on Wednesday, and I was back in the classroom on Friday. Subjects taught: Japanese (seriously. Japanese. I'm from Wigan) Stone and Water (or as I call it, falling off a chair 101. Blindfold optional) Girl's hockey (a sport so brutal, there'll probably be a sci fi film about it) I guess having young kids has made me a better teacher. I say teacher, I mean disciplinarian. YES! It's fun to shout at children. Try it. It's a great stress reliever. I'm back at the same school next week (and joking aside, the staff and pupils were great and made me feel very welcome. I haven't taught in 5 years and I think I managed to pull it off. I do this every day, kids. Really.) QUOTES Yes. I'm going to hide it. I'm going to hide it where you'll never find it...like under my pillow - my stepson considers where to hide his Father's Day gift. Pupil: Sir, can you speak Japanese? Mr Russell: A little. Tokyo. Saki. Sushi...erm...ninja? AC/DC suck. Holden suck. Aussie rules suck - important to get off on the right foot with a class full of Australians... Sorry for the substandard blog. I'm too damn cold to put any proper thought into it this week. Where's the promised Springtime? Bah. Saturday, August 29, 2009Perfection, Samhane (not related, far from it), question for Facebook users and this week's quotes! I haven't done a proper blog for a while (I tend to say 'I'll write this chapter and then do my blog' but that never pans out) so may I request you stay a while longer?WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT THAT NORMAL IS...PERFECTION? For a while back there, I was stuck in a rotting routine that just seemed to drag on and on. This was when I lived back in the UK. There'd never be enough money to do half the things I'd want to do, I found it hard to write on a regular basis, I did the same things every damn day. I felt like an old geezer in a home...that still had to go into the office every day. Probably one of the many reasons I wanted to go somewhere. See the world (there were many, many more reasons, as anyone who knows me will testify). Yet in an update to the life and death post, things have returned to normal here at Manji Towers. Sherie has been back from the hospital for just over two weeks now. She's fine, if not better then before. She doesn't seem to get as many of the pains as she did before her stay in hospital, apart from our ultra-active baby that seems to be trying to break free of her uterus in a Ramsey Campbell The Doll That Ate it's Mother stylee. Yes, that's write. Baby is still in the oven and is perfectly fine, if not annoying. I feel better too, as this proved to be a test run for the birth. I know I can do the four hour drive to Perth (even through the pitch black night roads of the SW Aussie countryside...but one more month for the Perth-Bunbury Highway to open AHEAD of schedule. Fuck you, British builders!) and I know I can find the hospital. And parking. Parking's the hardest part. "Do you want to cut the umbilical, Mr Russell?" "Sorry...I gotta go move the car. My ticket's up..." And back to the point, things have returned to normal. Sherie's home, the routine's back in place, and after the trips to Perth and the resulting phone bill from the 2-3 week stay away from home...there's barely enough money left to do much (beer) and I do the same thing every day. And I'm very, very happy about it! Which reminds me. I know some of you none-writers may think of us as arty types who sit around all day tapping out the odd word, sipping cappuccinos and dicking around on Facebook. Well, you'd be right, but I also envisioned writers to have money to burn and a single sale is a drop in the ocean. Rest assured avid reader, this is not the case here in Manji Towers. Every sale this month means something special to me. That's right. Every single one. For each copy of Samhane sold, a couple of dollars is going towards the mountainous phone bill. Donations welcome. AND SPEAKING OF SAMHANE... See what I did there? Good link! I should write for early morning television. Thanks once again to Jim Mcleod for his sparkling vampire, I mean, sparkling review of Samhane over at the British Horror Novels forum. Feel free to join. It's free, there's a good bunch of readers over there that know their stuff, and the admin Ian Woodhead...well, if you join you'll meet him. Take a look at www.britishhorrornovels.proboards.com, and if you'd be so kind, include the spangly banner above to your sites, myspaces, et al. Samhane sales are still trickling in, constant, like a water torture but with a better finale. If you're considering purchasing a copy, may I suggest www.wildchildpublishing.com for your pdf needs, or, if you're a kinky kindle or perverted pda abuser, take a look over at www.fictionwise.com. Whatever you use, buy a handy pack of Kleenex too as I'm sure you'll get vomit/spunk/quim all over it, depending on taste and sex. Hell, try for all three, make a weekend of it. DISCLAIMER: www.daniel-i-russell.blogspot.com, www.danielirussell.com and, indeed, Daniel I Russell himself take no responsibility for broken ebook readers following any surge of bodily fluids. In fact, this site promotes safe reading. Encase your e-reader in rubber. Yes, you poor new blog visitor. This is about the level it gets. QUICK QUESTION? The new novel is cooking nicely, now at 31k. Trying a new planning system with this one after comments regarding Shutterbug, and I think it's paying off. Real nasty little bugger this one, with so many twists and turns, I'm going to need to steer it as steady and true as Charon himself, rowing his boat across the River Styx. But the question is... Do any of you care? I see writers post these updates all the time on Facebook, and I always think, who cares? I couldn't give a frig if you're on 20k, 40k or 250k. But then why do I post these updates? So, should writers, ie, me, bother to post new novel updates? Think it might be more interesting to post what I had for lunch... QUOTES THIS WEEK: Our 3 year old daughter, while holding up a bikini top: "BOOBERANGS!!!" Worryingly, the kids' dentist: "Where are my Pedo glasses?" My childish tantrum: "I hate drinking out of this this mug. The handle's weird" (This one started some debate on Facebook. I agree with writer Ian M Faulkner, women have shoes, men have mugs). Ah look, my cappuccino has arrived. Time to hit the writing. Wednesday, August 26, 2009New review in for Samhane
Samhane by Daniel I Russell Wild Child Publishing
Donald Patterson, is also heading to Samhane in a frantic bid to save his wife from the clutches of a truly evil and repugnant man known as Demon.
The father and son exterminators Brian and Sam Rathbone the main protagonist of the story have been called in by the mayor to sort out the problems of the town. I loved the father and son dynamics portrayed here. Brian clearly loves his son and is full of the common worries that a parent faces, but add to this the added concerns of how do you keep your son safe at night while at the same time training him to become a hunter. I enjoyed how Brian came across as an everyman, he’s not some super cool monster battler like Buffy or the Supernatural brothers, there is no support network of watchers or hunters for him, it’s just him and his son. No long lost mythical weapons of power, just him and a baseball bat for his final showdown. He could be the guy next door. I loved how Brian makes his son read Stephen King novels as a means to learning the ways to kill the monsters, it was a nice touch. If I have one quibble with the story is that I would have liked more of a history of Brian, how he trained himself to be a hunter after the events that caused him to turn to this way of life. I truly lapped this book up. I have less and less time for reading these days, so really like it when I discover a new author that does it for me. This is right up there with The Kult by Shaun Jeffrey, November Mourns by Tom Piccirilli and The Valley by Willie Meikle for my top reads of the year so far. Jim Mcleod, British Horror Novels Friday, August 07, 2009Life and death was in our hands...and we hated itOn Monday 27th July, things started off just like normal. By 9am, I was listening to the Funky Werepig radio show while Sherie was sitting on the sofa, watching children's TV with our 3 year old. The pregnancy had been uncomfortable for a few days and she was taking it easy. By dinnertime, the discomfort had increased to an ache. By 2pm, a sharp pain. We went to hospital here in Manjimup and while Sherie was being examined by the midwife, she spoke the words we were dreading hearing. "She's gone into labour." We're only 25 weeks gone, so just over 23 then. Sherie's previous two children were prematurely born at 32 weeks and are fine in every way...but 23 weeks was very, very bad news. Sherie was put on some intravenous drug which gave her the shivers like a heroin addict going cold turkey. It was heart breaking to see her so upset and in such a physical state. In the evening she was flown from Manjimup to the hospital in Perth. I drove the four hours through the dark, desolate country roads to meet her there. Thankfully, the labour had stopped by the time I reached her. We managed to spend a few hours together before I was promptly booted from the hospital. After driving round Perth for an hour (bloody Sat Nav), at 2am, I found the motel and crashed for the night. I was awoken at 7am. Sherie was in labour again. I found her in the birthing suite at the hospital. Contractions were easing and about half an hour apart at this point. We had meetings with the obstrician and pediatrician, and those were conversations I would never wish on anyone. We had...decisions to make. Should Sherie go into labour again and give birth, we had to decide on C sections and the amount of care given to our child, discuss brain damage and breathing problems, and hear about artificial ventilation, bleeding up the tubes and, the one that sickened me the most, skin splitting. I don't want to spark any moral debate, but we decided that if there was a chance for our baby to survive, we were going to fight for it. Thankfully, we're now at 25 weeks and baby is still safely inside its mum's tummy. The hospital has kept her in just in case, and it's been hard for all involved. Sherie is couped up in a tiny room 24/7 all on her own, while I'm looking after both children here in Manji (I'm not complaining...but it is draining). We've seen her once since then, and are visiting again tomorrow. We miss her so much and want her home, as long as baby and her are safe. So not much has gone on with the writing over the last fortnight. It kind of puts things in perspective, I mean, all the hours spent writing novels and shorts when I could have been with Sherie... With her away, makes me regret the time spent away from her when she was here. I know she's going to bollock me for this when she reads it as I should be writing. "You!" says Sherie. "Write!" I guess she's here in spirit. Hopefully next week, when she's back and the baby bump is being rubbed again, I'll be back in my usual immature mood. Might even post another Samhane excerpt following the nice little batch of sales. Till next week... Friday, July 31, 2009There will be no proper blog this weekAs most of my friends know, my partner is currently in hospital in Perth following complications with the pregnancy, thus there will be no proper blog this week. This is the last day for the competition. For details please see the previous blog post below. Thanks. Tuesday, July 21, 2009Insert amusing title here at a later dateThe weekend has rocketed through to Tuesday once again and I remember that I didn't post a blog. If I'm this forgetful over a simple blog post, then God help me when the baby comes. I'll probably be that idiot who leaves the capsule on the car roof while he's dicking around with keys and a Costa coffee. Yeah, the guy who thinks he's real popular because everyone he passes is waving frantically at him... Argh! Anyway, back to the present. It's kinda worked in my favour leaving this a few days as the juicy stuff has only really happened in the last few days. Here we go again. DAN FINALLY HITS THE WEB WHERE IT HURTS Yes, I've finally bit the bullet and have my own site now at danielirussell.com. It's basically like this, but has more stuff and isn't all on one page! We have a rather nifty store, my full selected bibliography (selected because who wants to know about some crappy none paying ezine that I sold a story to 9 years ago?), in depth biography and all the regular stuff. I was talking to Andrew Wolter about sites last week and he said that most writer websites mostly contain the same stuff. I've had a luck around and the guy knows what he's talking about! One thing I am offering that might be a little bit different. Sure, there's a store, but I've never been one for a hard sale. My page isn't all adverts which push you to buy a copy of Samhane for example (Even though its a brilliant read. GO BUY!). You can go over there, have a shifty look around and leave with something FREE. That's right. FREE. No strings attached. I'm offering a free download of the chapbook Fluffs. Just click here. Why not enter the free competition? You could win a free download of Samhane (which is a brilliant read. GO BUY!). Details in the news section. Right, that's me pimping the new site done. I need to find a permanent link on here somewhere but I'm sick of HTML! BODILY FLUIDS WILL FLOW My lesbian orgy story, Night of the Anals, has been fished out of the bowl by the boys at Skull Vines Press for inclusion in the acclaimed series Tabloid Terrors 3. This was by far the most fun I've ever had writing a story as anything...erm...went? Considering SVP publish 'anything the fuck they want' (and that's their slogan. Go and check the site if you don't believe me!) I think this is the ONLY publisher who would release such delicious sleaze. It's going to be a load of fun working with SD Hintz and Jerrod Balzer. A NEW NOVEL? After my batch of recent short stories, I'm returning to the novel, but not Tainted Nature. Considering the state of the horror market, I think a novel at around 160, 000 words might be a tad too long and a tough sell. Instead, I'm working on a novel called The Attraction (definitely a working title. I suck at titles) which I hope will come in at a sellable 80-90k. Not only that, I'm hoping to write it in under 2 months. So nice to have the drive to do this without the need of a competition to keep me plugging away! Anyway, the novel is 10k in and going well. Think this might be a bloody one gore fans! THE FUTURE OF HORROR Another trip to the doctor and another green light. Baby is doing well, despite giving my partner hell on a daily basis! It rarely stops moving and is one hell of a kicker at 5 months. Sweet Jesus, you don't suppose it's going to be...sporty, do you? No. It can't be. I love my children no matter what they choose to do in life...but sporty might be a trifle...challenging for dad. Speaking of such things, we've started teaching our boy to read. It's as rewarding as I thought it would be, and not nearly as frustrating. I've not started him off on such great reads as Samhane (BUY NOW!) but simple phrases. He can read I am/have a dog (and it makes me giggle. I'm immature) and things around that: boy, cat, hat, etc. He'll be reading King's The Stand by the end of the year... And on that note, it's nearly half six. Reading time before the boy goes to bed. Till next time folkerenos... Saturday, July 11, 2009Up to my eyeballs in...?![]() By the hammer of Thor...has it really been 2 weeks since I blogged? Shameful. Although things have been quite hectic at Manji Towers over the last fortnight. Allow me to waffle: NECROTIC TISSUE As some of you may know, I am an associate editor at Necrotic Tissue (www.necrotictissue.com). Our new reading period of July is open, and the subs have come pouring in. Literally. Its like that scene in the first Harry Potter movie where the letters come shooting out the fireplace, letterbox and every other available orifice. We have received RECORD numbers, for example, over 100 stories within the first 5 days of being open. Head editor R. Scott McCoy, fellow associate John Wilson and myself are working round the clock (no? Well it feels like it at times!) to get your stories read in good time. We have an impressive return time compared to other horror fiction markets, and that, along with personal feedback, make us THE horror writer's magazine. A year's subscription is only $20 US, and the magazine is a damn good looking one. Please stop by and have a look around the site. On a personal note, if you are thinking of submitting to Necrotic Tissue, PLEASE read the guidelines! In addition, as the story is to be pasted into the email, ensure all that text is broken up into nice readable paragraphs. And if you write a vampire/zombie/serial killer story...it best be a bloody good one! A SALE! The short story drought is over (which is good considering I'm coming to the end of a new batch). 'By the Banks of the Nabarra', a story about an abused mother, a failed murder attempt and an Australian legend, has been accepted by Australian Spec magazine, Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine. I'm very happy with this one, especially as the story comes in at 14, 000 words: my biggest short story sale (and cheque!) up to now. Watch out for this one in 2010, available from the website (www.andromedaspaceways.com) or from a whole bunch of Australian retailers. It's gonna be on shelves, folks! (I've always considered it as the Aussie Shroud) I'm in a short kinda mood. My latest Brian Rathbone (of Samhane fame) escapade - known by friends as 'the spunk story' - has been subbed, as has a weird little thing about a clown on a desolate beach. SD Hintz and Jerrod Balzer at Skullvines Press have my lesbians from space story, and I'm hearing good things, so fingers crossed. Just finished a new story called 'A Picture Tells' set in WW2. Have I pulled it off? I don't know. We'll see. OTHER STUFF We had an ultrasound last week and at 5 months, lil' pome is doing well. It has the right number of limbs, fingers, toes, etc and all the organs are working as they should. Heart beat is normal. In fact, things couldn't be going any better (touch wood). We've even picked the boy and girl names, thank CHRIST! (The caps there are a show of relief, not a hint to the child's name...) Oh, and we got a budgie. It's a transexual budgie. It was formerly a girl but suddenly went manly over night, so its owner Nikki offered the feathered little blighter to us as she needed a female for breeding. We call it Billy, after the SAW puppet on the desk. THE KULT by Shaun Jeffrey Had to mention this, especially after previous blog posts. Harlan Corben, Simon Kernick and even Dean Koontz. What have they got in common? Gripping thriller writers? Yes. But also a little bit...pretentious in their writing. As in 'look how clever and twisty and turny this book is...' The Kult is just as gripping, just as clever, but all smugness is thrown out the window. It reads like a novel version of films like Se7en, or even SAW. Nasty, vicious...and still intelligent. I read this over a couple of days as the damn book refused to be put down. I suffered from 'just one more chapter syndrome', leading to one cold bath and possible damage to my full bladder on a few occasions. It's great to get the full package in a novel: break-neck plot, deep characterisation, impressive cover and spiffing author photo (hehe!). The ending has the wow factor and you will not be disappointed. A stunning thriller from the author of Evilution and Voyeurs of Death. Keep 'em coming please, Mr Jeffrey! Available from http://www.leucrotapress.com/Jeffrey.html A DISCLAIMER (a bit) For any of you wondering where my proposed reports on foreign horror markets is, my apologies. It's still on its way, I'm just waiting on the interviews. Watch this space! Sunday, June 28, 2009Free fiction: Prosthetics Yes, yes, I know I'm slack. Super busy here at Manji Towers, and I'm awaiting a few things that I wanted to blog about this week. So, expect (hopefully) a normal post next weekend, including a review of Shaun Jeffrey's The Kult, the first in a series of discussions about foreign markets (including an interview with a top German writer!) and the latest developments of Necrotic Tissue magazine, as we'll be back into a new reading period.Which reminds me...if you haven't already, check out the interview of Necrotic Tissue Chief Editor R. Scott McCoy on The Odd Minds radio show at www.blogtalkradio.com/theoddminds . He talks of the magazine, the Malpractice anthology, his own great works...and yours truly even gets a mention at the end. Thanks Scott! In closing, in apology for me being so weak this week (that's some bad hat, Harry), have some more free fiction: There lies horror in the losing of a limb. Aside from the searing pain, loss of blood and crunch of bone, one loses a part of themself. But what if there's more to lose in the treatment? Which is the more horrific? The loss of a limb...or the gaining of a new one? Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you... PROSTHETICS Dr. Bowman met Jim’s eyes. He seemed nervous, but remained smiling. “You ready?” she asked, taking his hand. She sat next to him on a plush sofa. “I…I guess so,” he said. “Good. Don’t try too hard. This should come naturally. Now…squeeze!” Fingers clamped down on the doctor’s hand, and she cried out, pulling back. Jim held on, staring down. “Jesus,” Bowman moaned and squirmed her fingers. She worked them free from the iron grip. Pain blared in her hand, like she’d trapped it in a door. She slid free and massaged the skin, smoothing out the agony. “Any harder and it would be me that needs a new one!” “I’m sorry,” blurted Jim. “It wasn’t your fault,” said Bowman. “It’s a new technology and needs a little fine tuning. Let me take another look.” She held the prosthetic, now a tight fist, and ripped a Velcro strap free. The gloved hand fell away, revealing the fleshy stump beneath. She swallowed and pulled the glove off. Jim snorted. “You must see this kind of thing everyday, yet this,” he held up the deformed hand, “this disgusts even you.” “It’s nothing,” she said. “It’s the prosthetic I’m disgusted with.” Jim’s injured hand turned her stomach. He’d been on the receiving end of meat slicer accident. The machine had taken most of his right hand, cutting from the base of the thumb up to the knuckle of his little finger. The injury itself didn’t sicken her, but the puckered pink flesh at the trauma site did. She knew she had a bad attitude, especially for someone in her position, but the disgust remained. She preferred nice, tidy stumps, not blood and scars. “You don’t have to worry much longer,” she said. “Once I get this fixed, it’ll be like having your old hand back.” Jim sighed. “I appreciate your…enthusiasm, doctor. But you can’t understand what this feels like to just…well, lose a part of you in a split second.” Bowman pried the fingers of the hand open. “Really?” She reached down to her ankle and hiked up her trousers a few inches. Beneath, the silver head of a bolt glinted, embedded in pink plastic. She lifted her foot from the floor, and the hinge moved. “Whoa,” said Jim, clutching his injured hand. “Car crash,” said Bowman. “Twelve years ago. My leg was crushed, and they amputated below the knee.” She tapped her shin. It sounded hollow. “Why I got into this area of medicine.” “I’m sorry,” said Jim. Bowman smiled. “No problem.” “But you don’t even have a limp!” She winked. “That’s how good we are here at Bloom Memorial.” She studied the hand. “Ah, I see what happened. A fuse has blown.” She reached into the inner workings and snapped the offending part free. “Our engineer is in today, so he should be able to fix this right up.” “You don’t build them?” “Steve builds them and I fit them. Our system works.” She stood. “Make yourself comfortable, Jim. I’ll just be a minute.” “Right,” he said, looking a little more reassured. “Thank you, doctor.” Bowman crossed the pastel-toned patient suite and through the door at the rear. The temperature seemed to drop ten degrees on entering the workshop. The windowless room oppressed from the thick carpet and pleasant views of the patient suite. Underneath the bare bulbs, various limbs hung from rows of shelves. Legs stood in racks like umbrellas. Hands sat in rows, robot spiders waiting to be used. It reminded Bowman of puppet maker’s workbench. “Steve?” she called. Her voice echoed. “Steve are you back there? I need a new fuse for a TN500.” Silence greeted her. “Damn. You on your lunch?” She headed deeper into the room, passing more body parts. She had no idea what the building had been used for previously. The hospital had seen their work, offered positions at the facility and given them the use of the building, set within the hospital grounds. The workshop contained a small washing area and the remains of a small ward. Various bits and pieces had been left behind, the larger objects covered by sheets. Bowman had nagged Steve about shifting it all. She approached the washing area. Steve had emptied the cupboard under the sink, and a black, leather bag stood next to the rusted metal sink. Bowman glanced at her reflection in the streaked mirror. “Steve?” Nothing. She opened the bag and peered inside, catching a hint of metal. She reached in. “Eugh!” She pulled out a scalpel, studied it and dropped it back. It emitted a small clunk, striking other instruments. “Steve! I told you to get rid of all this!” She turned away. “Guess I’ll have to find the fuse myself.” She walked down the old ward, scanning the cluttered shelves and work areas. Saws, drills, hammers and other vicious objects littered the place. “Health and safety nightmare,” said Bowman, wishing for the comfort of the patient suite. She stopped. “And what the hell are you doing with this?” A metal chair lay against the wall. Its seat, complete with head and foot rest, had been formed from a sheet of bent aluminium and polished to a dazzling finish. It sat on a short column, also fashioned from metal. An intricate pattern adorned its surface. Looks like you’ve been renovating this. But why? Something tapped her left foot. She looked down. A fuse rolled and stopped. Bowman picked it up. Must have knocked it off something…Bit of luck. And it hit my left foot and not my right! The wet fuse slipped within her fingers, and she wiped it on her blouse. The tiny cylinder vibrated in her palm for a second. “Odd.” She examined it closer. Nothing out of the ordinary. “Must just be me.” She glanced at the chair and shivered. She’d never claimed to have any sixth sense, but the chair inspired goosebumbs on her arms and back. She wondered if anyone had died in it… Right, Steve. As soon as your belly’s filled, you’re getting rid of this chair. That bag too. Turning her back on the piles of junk and the hideous chair, Bowman headed back through the workshop. She stopped, her heels scraping on the floor. Something. Something behind her. She glanced over her shoulder. Nothing moved. The chair sat in the old ward, like a still life painted by Giger. We need more lights in here. Place is getting to me. Shaking her head, Bowman strode through the workshop, thankful as she entered the patient suite. “Here we are, Jim,” said Bowman, joining her patient back on the sofa. “Sorry about the delay. Steve’s on his lunch, but I managed to find a fuse.” Jim shifted forward, perching on the edge. “We trying it again, then?” “One more time, at least to check the fit. We’ll make an appointment for next week so we can start your rehab properly.” Bowman flipped the prosthetic hand over and clicked the fuse into place. The fingers twitched, and Bowman nearly dropped the attachment. “Must have some discharge,” she said and ripped open the Velcro. “Don’t worry. You won’t get a shock!” Jim offered a nervous smile and slowly held out his severed hand. Bowman slid the fixture over the torn skin and fastened it tight. “There we go.” Jim frowned. “It feels strange. All tingly.” Tingly? “That’s normal,” said Bowman, frowning. She glanced at the clock. Aware of her next appointment, she decided to cut the chat. “Just like before. Try to make a fist.” “Okay,” said Jim. He closed his eyes. “Ready?” said Bowman. “One…two…three!” Thin blades shot out of the metal fingertips with a sharp ping! Bowman flinched. What the…? “Did it work?” asked Jim. He glanced down. The hand shot up, fingers closing in a claw. The five blades punched through Jim’s throat, and blood shot across the sofa. Bowman screamed and jumped to her feet. Jim gurgled, wide-eyed and falling back. Crimson poured down his chest, blossoming on his white shirt. The fingers embedded in his flesh jerked and flicked, trying to dig deeper. Jim clutched it with his good hand. “Oh god,” Bowman moaned, retreating. “Oh god!” Jim pulled the hand away for a second, but not to be denied, it surged forward in another frenzied attack. The force knocked Jim’s head back. Bowman fled to the front door. The sounds of Jim’s thrashing and the whirring from the hand stopped behind her. The doctor froze, her hand on the door knob. She peered over her shoulder. Jim lay back on the sofa, his body still. His head had tilted back, revealing the carnage beneath his chin. Blood trickled down his front from pulsating tissue, which hung from his throat like glistening candy shoelaces. The remains of a crushed, mangled tube poked out of the pulpy mess. The hand had vanished. “Oh shit,” said Bowman and covered her mouth. The carpet seemed to tilt, and her vision blurred. She blinked the patient suite back into focus. “No,” she cried. “Oh no…” She yanked the door handle. The hand dropped from the ceiling and onto her arm. Bowman jumped away from the door and beat at the prosthetic. It clung on like a metal tarantula, crawling for her shoulder. The blades had retracted. Bowman tripped on a rug and toppled onto her knees. Her leg cracked, and the fake limb came free. It hung loose within her trousers. The hand crept along her collarbone, impartial to her thrashing. She screamed and grabbed it. The metal throbbed within her grasp. “No!” she yelled, prying it free. It held onto her blouse, refusing to budge. Bowman’s fingers slipped, and the metal hand darted to her face. She snatched it with both hands and pulled. A finger, containing tiny pistons and wires, hooked towards her mouth. The tip brushed her lips. “Get...the fuck…off me!” The hand emitted a loud click and fell away. Bowman threw it across the room just as the detached finger slipped into her mouth. She clenched her teeth together, clamping the loose digit that squirmed like a swollen maggot. It curled, and the tail end flicked against her nose. Bowman fell forward and coughed. She pressed against the probing finger with her tongue. It pushed further in, metal squeaking against her teeth. Bolts of pain shot through her tight jaws. She grabbed for the probing digit. It slipped all the way inside and jabbed the back of her throat. Bowman gagged and wailed. The finger seemed to grow, and a sharp point pressed into the roof of her mouth. The blade! Realisation fuelled her panic, and she hooked the metal with her fingertips. They slid over the saliva-slick intruder and failed to find purchase. The flesh at the back of her throat parted, and the finger dug up toward her head… Dan: Is that the end of the story? Be pretty bad if it were. I struggle the most with endings, but give me some credit! Like Dr Bowman, there's a piece missing. Pick up a copy of Malpractice from http://www.necrotictissue.com/ and step into Bloom Memorial Hospital to enjoy Prosthetics in its full, splattered glory! Labels: fiction, free, horror, Malpractice, necrotic, prosthetics, R Scott McCoy, tissue, writing Sunday, June 21, 2009IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE? NO, IT'S...AMAZON? IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE? NO, IT'S...AMAZON?Remember the situation last week regarding Shutterbug? Here's what transpired... After waiting a week for Wild Child Publishing to pull Shutterbug from the 3rd party sites, and getting nothing no reply, it was time to take matters into my own hands. Don't worry, friends, I'm not one for vigilante action! All the sites were selling through a site called Mobipocket, so it was this site that I contacted regarding the little problem. Mobipocket, as it turns out, is a subsidiary of Amazon. Obviously the book giant owns EVERYTHING! It's the Tesco of the publishing world (but does Tesco own Amazon?). Anyway, Amazon got back to me. It was the publisher's responsibility to deal with this, however, as the book was being sold without rights or permission, the Amazon Legal Department stepped in. They removed the book from sale (yay!) and said they would take action should this happen again. Beware publishers! Amazon has a cavalry! It busts heads and takes names! So I'm a happy bunny that I have Shutterbug back in full now. Convenient, as it looks like the new screenplay might be Shutterbug, for a film thriller or TV drama. My screenwriting colleague is currently reading the novella I believe, and drafting an outline. I'll hopefully have more information, and details about my screenplay magnifico, next week, should we sort out an agreement. Exciting times and looking forward to this one! WHO SAID YOU NEED TOE SKIN TO BE A GREAT WRITER? Last week, it was a personally signed copy of Mama's Boy by Fran Friel. This week, it's The Kult by my good friend, Shaun Jeffrey. "To Dan" he writes "without whom this book would still be the masterpiece you see before you. In fact, without whom, it's probably better. Lol." Funny bastard. Joking aside, I started it this morning and I'm only about 13 pages in. I don't want to be writing this blog. Why? Because I want to get back to the sofa and read on! I stress over the opening chapter of my novels, but Shaun has hit it bang on. I'm hooked. It reads like Shaun Hutson - maybe its something about the name? - at his peak (although I havent reached a death scene yet. Fingers crossed for the same amount of torture and splatter!). Will post more about it next week. For now, here's the blurb: People are predictable. That's what makes them easy to kill. Acting out of misguided loyalty to his friends, police officer Prosper Snow is goaded into helping them perform a copycat killing, but when the real killer comes after him, it’s not only his life on the line, but his family's too. Now if he goes to his colleagues for help, he risks being arrested for murder. If he doesn't, he risks being killed. “With Kult, Shaun Jeffrey hits one out of the park with this creepy, character-driven thriller that starts with a jolt, stays in the fast lane, and plunges into the darkest territory of the human mind. It’s a bumpy ride through nightmare country.” --Jonathan Maberry, multiple Bram Stoker Award-winning author of PATIENT ZERO and PUNISHER: NAKED KILL Wet your appetite? http://www.leucrotapress.com/Jeffrey.html A RECKLESS MISSUSE OF THE WRITTEN WORD Workwise, this has got to be one of the most uplifting and 'artistically free' weeks I've had. Whilst normally the subtle traits of terror and how a reader relates to the characters are order of the day, that has all been thrown wantonly aside, for it's time to bring on the filth! Mother's Boys (far from the cleanest novel) first round edits are now complete (do I hear a woot? Woot. Thank you kindly) and I'm now awaiting feedback before I tinker and sub. Publishers are already listed (but all further suggestions are welcome!). Most of the week has been spent on a Brian Rathbone short, Brian Rathbone: Seed of Evil. This is by far the most...soiled short story I've written, with copious amounts of a certain creamy bodily fluid spraying from between the words. You might need a box of Kleenex tissue ready for this one. And finally, my desert of submissions has found an oasis. I got, well, an amber light to prepare a short for an upcoming anthology (secret details until it's a green light!). This will truly allow me to spread these cheap, dirty, fetid wings of mine. Think sex, violence, and lots of... Hang on. Don't want to let the cat out of the bag. Start eating now, because when this story is written...it may be a while until you eat again! HAS ANYONE SEEN THE WALKIN' DUDE? We're approaching the middle of winter now. While this brings on the wealth of winter food (meat pie, mash and winter veggies. Hot sponge and custard! :P) it also brings...disease! Bad colds have swept through Manji Towers. It's like Stephen King's The Stand in here now, with the audio track of a doctor's waiting room. It's hard to write when you feel shitty and dribble snot on the keyboard. But on the bright side, we felt the baby kick for the very first time this week! Sherie: "Now you believe me that I can feel it moving! I'm not crazy!". I have two step children who I count as my own, but this is my first child. It was a magical moment, and we can only get more and more of them. This is called the quickening, which makes me think of Highlander and a great album by my favourite band, The Vandals. Funny how the mind works! Oh, and if you haven't had enough of my warblings this week (are you nuts?) then check out my ongoing interview at www.britishhorrornovels.proboards.com. It's the spin off discussion forum from the excellent Facebook group and is run by the nice guy who has quirks, Ian Woodhead. There's also on going interviews with Shaun 'skinned toes' Jeffrey, Rakie 'likes overgrown male dancers' Keig and Conrad '21 years like the Duracell bunny' Williams. Till next week... Saturday, June 13, 2009Scandal and StokersAh, this blogging on a weekly basis is much better. Behold the accrued news! THE SHUTTERBUG SCANDAL No, no. This isn't a new book and not a spin off from my 2007 novella. This is the 2007 novella! The rights for this book were revoked at my request in January this year, and the publisher removed the download from their store. However, following a delayed advertisement in issue #60 of Cemetery Dance, I decided to look into things. The book is still available to download through third party sites! I managed to purchase a copy to be sure my eyes weren't playing a really nasty trick. If any of you were considering purchasing a copy, please hold back until I rectify the situation. The publisher is selling this book without holding any of the rights and any profits go to them. They are yet to respond to my emails. Watch this space for how things develop (Shutterbug pun there. Sigh...). POTENTIAL NEW PROJECT It's been a long time coming, but 2009 might see the start of some of my works being converted into screenplays ready for the big pitch. Discussions are underway with a screenplay writer (fresh off a Stephen King project) and an agreement currently being drafted. The stories selected for the potential conversion are Relish, Belvedere's House, Roots and (the ever troublesome!) Shutterbug. GET STOKED FOR THE STOKERS 2009 It's that time again, and this weekend sees the Oscars for the horror writing community, the Bram Stoker Awards. If you're as excited as me over this, make sure you watch the proceedings LIVE on the 13th June from around 8pm (PST) at http://www.stokers2009.com/. Again, the best of luck to my friends: Tim Deal at Shroud for Beneath the Surface (Superior Achievement in an Anthology) Fran Friel for Mama's Boys and Other Dark Tales (Superior Achievement in a Collection) - A signed copy of which I received this week and am enjoying! Jonathan Maberry for Zombie CSU (Superior Achievement in Nonfiction) The Skullvines crew for Attack of the Two Headed Poetry Monster (Superior Achievement in Poetry) Further details are available on the above link. Go on, guys! OTHER BUSINESS It's been quite dull in the writing world at the moment. Currently editing another novel (last one, finally) ready for submission. Big thank you to R.Scott McCoy at Necrotic Tissue for helping out with advice for this one. We need to tidy it up and cut 10k words from somewhere. And Scott suggests more gore and violence! What a guy... Manji Towers is full of sickies at the moment. I feel like the last survivor of a zombie infestation. The kids are the colour of the floaty vampire kid from the original Salem's Lot and have coughs and as they call them...spews. Our three year old did the ultimate 'I fucking told you so' by half filling a bucket with browny red vomit while I was accusing her of faking. (Forget the Stokers, I'm up for Father of the year 2009). My partner is into week 16 of the merry world of pregnancy, so she's... Well, she's lovely as always and still rushing around and looking after us all (she reads this). We spent the morning doing financial sums and budgeting, etc. I think blood will be shed if either mentions tax, income or expenditure for the next week. Looking into the purchase of a pram, cot, etc this week, and Mr Grumpy Horror Writer is actually quite excited about this. The ghost of Manji Towers, I think, is a child. With both kids sick and asleep in bed last night, something was running around in the lounge room and opened the door to the kitchen (it squeaks). Is this inspiration for my writing. No. It's annoying when it wakes you up at nearly 1am! I think that's my lot for another week. Going to go wait by the mailbox for my copies of Necrotic Tissue #7 and Shaun Jeffrey's new novel, The Kult! Wednesday, June 03, 2009Feelings, Stoker Awards and the Ghost of Manji TowersTwenty five new followers in a week! If you want to follow this blog on Facebook, please click the widget on the right beneath the book covers. Ta muchly! You know, I've not posted anything over the weekend and kept thinking of all this stuff I wanted to discuss on here, yet now I have the time, I'm drawing a total blank. Shame. For about two weeks, I had a really good feeling. I get it from time to time, and it raises me out of grump, as my partner calls it. It feels like something really good has happened but you haven't realised it yet. Like the first few seconds of Christmas morning when you were a kid. "I'm sure there was something important about today...hmmm...oh! Christmas! Fuck yes!" I like to think (and is there any better example of a writer's wishful thinking?) that something of mine has been picked up and I haven't received the email yet. I'm currently shortlisted at Midnight Echoes, Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine and Bucket 'O' Guts Press, as well as all the other 'out theres'. As another day closes without any emails (obviously apart from 'Joe Bloggs wants to know which root vegetable best suits your personality on Facebook'), that feeling ebbs a little until, yes, I'm the grump again. Bah! Not that it's been all doom and gloom in the writing world. Three friends are up for Stokers this year: Tim Deal, Jonathan Maberry and Fran Friel, and I wish them the best of luck. One of my most despised writers is also up for one (despised because he recommended that I quit writing after reading one line. One line!). There's no justice. Looking forward to receiving my signed copy of Mama's Boy direct from Fran next week too! There's been no writing done here at Manjio Towers this week. It's been family and dvds all the way (and a day out to Bridgetown Park on Monday - bank holiday. Can't believe it was the first day of winter and I felt a little sick it was so hot! Well, it might have been the heat...or all the Cheezels I ate...or the spinning thing I went on at the park...). This week's movies were Snow Buddies (shit), City of Amber (didn't watch. I was reading instead), Ben 10 (shit), Dinotopia (partner watched 6 hours of this crap, but it had Freddy's daughter from Freddy's Dead in it), The Cottage (partner didn't like but I do), Slither (better then I remember. Has that great line "Now that is some fucked up shit" delivered to perfection!), MIB 2 (great as always) and Spiderman 2 (tonight's little treat). Listing them here helps me keep track when we discuss movies after hours at the Werepig. Writing wise TODAY, have to start the line edits of Mother's Boys (eerily like Fran's book title, don't you think? But this was written in 2006/2007). God himself (R.Scott McCoy) has offered to take a look when I believe it's good enough to be sent out. What a guy! Let the subterranean battle between gang-bangin' party boys and deformed genetic freaks begin! Oh, and finally, Sherie heard the shuffling feet of the ghost of Manji Towers this week. I'm not going crazy! Thursday, May 28, 2009Free horror fiction: The Vending Machine![]() A bit of free fiction for your delectation and delight. Published in Night to Dawn #10 a few years back. THE VENDING MACHINE By Daniel I Russell On the twenty-second floor of the Pier House building, Carlos stood by the window and looked down at the nightlife filling every shadowed street. "Why do think they still celebrate?" Poyntev glanced up from a sheet of paper, one of hundreds covering the desk. "It was a long time before the revolution. Maybe you are too young to fully appreciate what we achieved. I wish I was down there with them, instead of dealing with all this." He threw up a hand full of printed sheets. “Anyway, come back from the window. We need to get on with this." Carlos returned to his seat. The surface was covered in sheets and empty paper cups. "Right. I have last year's projections. It seems ten percent of our stock was either returned or lost." "The reason?" "Either bad quality meat…or escapees." "Damn them..." "We could suggest in the report to make the latest livestock control regulations compulsory. This would raise this year's overheads, but save in the long run." "We can put it forward in the next meeting." "This is killing me," moaned Carlos. "Mine friend, you know that if we do not complete this report, we will get it in the neck. But we take a break, yes?" Carlos nodded and got up from his chair. "I hear they have restocked the vending machine." "Excellent." Both left the confining office and walked down the corridor leading to the lobby. The vending machine stood next to the lifts. "Let's see…" Carlos studied the list of contents. "So much to choose from…" "Just hurry up, mine stomach is growling." "Okay!" Carlos dropped the two coins in the slot and pressed the buttons. Inside the vending machine, a door slid open at the rear. From the darkness beyond, a figure emerged, prodded forwards into the small cubicle. A young man stood naked, his arms wrapped around his body in a vain attempt to keep warm. He stood shivering behind the glass of the vending machine. He banged his fists on the inside, violently shaking his head and shouting. Praise the night for soundproof glass, Carlos thought. The vending machine vibrated slightly, which caused the stock inside to stop his begging and nervously look around. The inner sides of the machine started to come together with a mechanical hum. Hundreds of straight razor blades pinged out, the moving sides becoming a Mexican wave of glistening metal. "So, you think we'll get this report finished by sun up?" Carlos asked. "I am confident, yes." Inside, the man stood sideways to stop his shoulders catching on the razors. Still, the sides slowly rumbled together. "Might even be a nice bonus if we do a good job…" The man inside squealed. "And I think I am ready for promotion…" The sides stopped their progress as the blades touched the figure. He winced at the sharp edges of metal pressing lightly into his chest, legs and back. Poyntev nodded over Carlos' shoulder. "Is stuck." "Damn thing." Carlos gave it a stout kick and the machine once again rumbled into life. The razors swept from side to side in a glittery blur. Blood, thick and dark, splashed onto the glass. A small paper cup dropped out of a slot at the bottom of the machine. It immediately filled with blood. "Finally!" Carlos bent down and picked it up, just as the machine came to a stop. He took a sip, the coppery taste instantly causing his fangs to lengthen and hang over his bottom lip. He pulled the cup back in disgust. "Aw shit!" "What?" asked Poyntev. "I hate getting lumps!" He dipped his thumb and forefinger into the cup and picked out half an ear that floated on top. He threw this into a bin next to the vending machine. Poyntev had by now retrieved his coins from the confines of his trouser pocket. "What you going to have?" asked Carlos. He drank from the cup and gave himself a dirty red moustache. The floor of the vending machine opened, and the mangled body of the young man fell through. Consulting the amount of change in his pocket, Poyntev took out two shiny coins. "I think I deserve treat after working so long," he said and dropped the money in the slot. He made his selection. Drool began to flow over his caked bottom lip and down his pasty white chin as a small, weeping girl was ushered into the vending machine. *** Posted this because I was sick to death of reading vampire submissions! Try and do something new with the genre please. I'm not saying this is perfect (far from it) but might hopefully give some potential vampire authors a new angle to consider. Hope you enjoyed it. Tuesday, May 26, 2009Time for a little celebration![]() The Necrotic Tissue submissions for April are finished! It's nice to have an empty inbox. The slush pile is now just a nice flat plain. You can see the horizon, the sky, the trees. Oh look, a bird. Can't believe how relieved the boss (Captain Aaaar! Scott McCoy - That's OUR Scott McCoy for the Werepig gang) must feel. Must be like the changing of the seasons for him. April submissions are done and now we have the reading period of July to look forward to. Please, please, please feel free to submit your best horror fiction to Necrotic Tissue, but READ THE GUIDELINES! Enough said. Other then that, it's been a quiet day here at Manji Towers. Authors often complain that other things get in the way of their writing - award ceremonies, book signings, movie deals to sort out. Personally, I feel all that guff is for losers, so have turned it all down to help the family with the washing. I feel it's time better spent. I mean, no one's going to give you a multi-million pound movie deal when you have beans down your t shirt. So we have lots of clean washing, had a good steak for tea, the kids are in the bath, I finished my NT subs...and still managed 1000 words. Not a lot on the writing front, but I feel it's been a productive day. Personally though, its been mixed. I found out today that our 3 year old daughter has been picked out as artistically gifted and is being encouraged to find and attend art classes. I'm so proud of her and we'll certainly be looking into it in the near future. On the bad side...well, obviously I can't go into details, but judge not lest thee be judged. Oh, and as most of the aussies I've met over here will tell you, being English does not make you a snob! People can be different. Some people should learn to accept that. I know this is meant to be a horror writing blog, but I just want to say a big thank you to my partner Sherie, who has been so supportive while I've been reading the submissions and slogging through the first part of Tainted Nature these last few weeks. Thank you!x Sunday, May 24, 2009Sunday Bloody SundayIf this post is riddled with typos, it's because a) it's late and my contact lenses are fogging up, and b) this wireless keyboard needs new batteries. There's my excuses out before I get any 'and you're supposed to be a published novelist' comments. Well, it's Sunday. Have I any news? Not really. Strap yourself in for a really exciting blog! Had a family weekend with no writing at all. Been through a host of family films: Small Soldiers (child horror! Yay! The communications soldier looked like something designed by Charles Band), Men in Black, Spiderman, Mouse Hunt (surprisingly very enjoyable) and Australia (which isn't authentic at all. There wasn't ONE Timtam featured). We also had the pleasure of watching a short indie film called Bridgetown. Now Bridgetown is the next town from us, and we have relatives there, so was quite excited to watch this. It runs at only 15 mins, and was like the first 15 minutes of 28 Days Later (without the monkey lab scene at the very beginning). I was very impressed with it, despite the lack of action. Shot very well. But alas, no writing. Want to get the first part of Tainted Nature finished this week and do a quick short. Had an idea of something that might work after all the shorts I've read for Necrotic Tissue this week. SOmething featuring everyone's favourite monster hunter (no, not her, the other one), Brian Rathbone of Samhane fame. Working title of Seed of Evil. Can't wait to get stuck in! Again, please leave a comment or pm me on facebook if you want a link to your page listed on the left. Got a few I need to update, but it's far too late to start with HTML buggery. Thursday, May 21, 2009Pathetic FallacyA few more tweaks and the blog page is finally getting there. See the book covers along the right hand side there? They're all the same size now. I know, you're agasp at my technical skills... What the hell happened to the great Aussie weather? The house has been buffeted by heavy winds, blasted by torential rain and there was a thunderclap in the night that made the bed shake. I don't really mind it, but the tree scraping the side of the house, the noise of bins blowing down the street and the dog barking at all this across the road is very distracting. Doesn't the weather know I have another novel to write?! (Multiple punctuations there, very unprofessional, but I'll let it slide this time). Hoping to get back to my current WIP and finish part 1 this week. Oh! Things I forgot yesterday. If anyone would like me to provide a link to their website or blog, mail me at the address at the top of the page, or alternatively, message me through Facebook. I'll be happy to oblige. Secondly, I forgot to post the Creature Feature trailer. Hope the weather's better where you are! Wednesday, May 20, 2009The bad smell returns...It's good to be back. But then again, I haven't really been away anywhere. The domination of myspace and facebook allowed my attention of this place to dwindle and fade to nothing... But thanks to the Ghost Writer Publications blogroll that linked to this page, I rediscovered it, cleared out the cobwebs and tumble weeds and decided to maintain its upkeep. If you're reading this, thank you sincerly for stopping by. Please leave a message so I know you stopped by. And what a time to start all over again! It's been quite the week. Firstly, the sage-like R.Scott McCoy has made me the new submissions editor over at Necrotic Tissue. It's an exciting time, as the magazine crosses over from the hugely successful ezine to the world of print. I'm thrilled to be on board. I've followed this magazine closely since being featured in the debut issue way back when. Scott puts his heart into the mag (explains the meaty smell), and it shows. I believe we're currently closed to submissions while we catch up on Mount Slushpile, but please feel free to visit the site by clicking on the link below. ![]() Should you feel flush, there's details of our subscriptions on the site also. Necrotic Tissue delivered straight to your door? Can't go wrong. A subscription or purchase of the EXCELLENT Malpractice: An Anthology of Bedside Terror also counts towards this year's Horror Bailout. Support your small presses! ![]() Other news is that of another anthology release, this time from Ghost Writer Publications. Creature Feature is available from 1st June and packs in 21 horrific stories from mythical beasts to killer moths. It's also a must have for Guy N Smith fans, who is the featured author. Watch this space for further news. ![]() There have been further developments in a few other projects (news to be revealed further down the line!) as well as away from the writing world. My partner Sherie and I were overjoyed to see our first child on the ultrasound again. At 13 weeks, it is quite an active little thing! Oh, and before I go, be sure to check out the Funky Werepig on Blog Talk Radio, Sunday, 9pm EST. Until next week... ![]()
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